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Ehud Neor
Former Jack of all trades, now writing.

Picking Targets in Iran

Picture by Paul Campbell on Unsplash
Picture by Paul Campbell on Unsplash

It turns out that in order to strike back at the country that attacked us with over a hundred ballistic missiles we need to go through President Biden. Netanyahu needed to talk with Biden on the phone. What does that even mean?

Think about it. Who was on the other end of the line? It is not acceptable to shout out that the President has no clothes, or in this case, the President has no cognitive abilities. The obvious has been obscured, for obvious reasons. But still, there was a conversation. There must have been, right? There must have been a serious exchange of ideas between the leaders of two free nations, dealing with the management of a military conflict having international repercussions?

Not.

And the entire world knows this, and nothing is said. This is another in a long line of insults, of disparagement of Israeli sovereignty, with Israel being forced to comply with the Big Charade. It has been at least two years since the Democrats began parading President Biden around like some sort of modern day El Cid propped up on his steed. When is enough enough?

The lack of communication between President Biden and Prime Minister Netanyahu for the three weeks preceding this call was presented as the President freezing Bibi out, showing disappointment in Israeli actions. This was tailor made for the Israeli opposition, and they fast-breaked it, thinking they had a slam dunk. “The President is not taking Bibi’s calls.”

Once, that was an effective tactic. Now, it is just pitiful, and the journalists who ran with it will be seen for the manipulated scribes that they are.

Still, there was a phone call, and if we were worried that President Biden might no be up to it, it was reported that Vice-President Harris and Secretary Blinken joined the call. That’s a charge of a very light cavalry, El Cid at the head.

Since no transcripts have been leaked (a miracle in and of itself), we, the insulted citizens of a free and sovereign Israel, are left to conjecture. So conjecture I shall.

Bidi calls Bibi

Bibi: Hello Mr. President, how are you today?

Bidi: wtf Bibi!

Bibi: Excuse me Mr. President?

Bidi: You heard me. wtf!

Bibi: I’m not sure what it is to which you are referring, Mr. President.

Bidi (miracle drugs kicking in): Oh, don’t try to bullshit a bullshitter. You know what I’m talking about. Don’t!

Bibi: Don’t what, Mr. President?

Bidi: Don’t bomb Iran.

Bibi (now the pleading Jew): But they are behind all the terrorist groups that have been attacking Israel, and they have also attacked us directly with hundreds of missiles and suicide drones!

Bidi: Don’t.

Bibi: I’m sorry Mr. President, but I must do my best to protect my people. We are attacking.

Bidi: Wait! Wait! Let me think here. What is it you really want?

Bibi: Excuse me Mr. President?

Bidi: Oh, come on Bibi, everybody’s got a price. What’s yours? Another squadron of F-35’s? US protection in the UN?

Bibi: No, Mr. President. Israel is not for sale.

Bidi (drugs wearing off): Pistachio!

Bibi: Now that you mention it, Mr. President, Israel could use some good old American home-made ice cream.

VP Harris, way too loud: Ha Ha Ha!

Blinken: We’ll send a couple of C-5’s full of ice cream right away.

Bibi (reading from a prepared script from Mossad psy-ops): Mr. President, do you know the game “Simon Says”?

Bidi: Of course. We used to play it all the time when I was growing up poor in Appalachia.

VP Harris: Sure, we played it all the time in the slums where I grew up.

Blinken: Who’s Simon?

Bibi: Let’s get started. Bibi says, we are bombing Kharg Island.

Bibi: Bibi says, we are bombing every single nuclear installation.

Bibi: We will do everything in our power to bomb the Mullahs out of power.

Bidi: Wait, I do not remember the game being played like that. Don’t I get a say?

Bibi: No, Mr. President, in this game you do not. Back away. Stand clear. Israel is going to do what needs to be done.

About the Author
Ehud Neor was born in South Carolina and raised on Martha’s Vineyard. He studied at Wabash College and the University of Haifa. Ehud is married to Dvora and they raised their family in Gush Katif, until they were expelled. They now live in Nitzan.
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