Please Don’t Call Yourself a Trauma Expert

A post October 7 message. 

When I go online to pay my electricity bill, the ticking clock in the corner of the screen signals that today marks 494 days since my brothers and sisters were violently hauled to Gaza. The day that Israel experienced the worst massacre against Jews since the holocaust, when men, women, children, babies, and the elderly were decapitated, burnt alive, shot dead in front of their loved ones, tied together and lit on fire, butchered, and raped. The day that innocent civilians were torn away from their families, dragged out of their homes, and taken hostage by the most depraved, sadistic thugs.

The human reaction to this should have been instinctive. The trauma-informed response needed to be unequivocal.

Call me naïve, but I did not anticipate the initial silence. As Elie Wiesel famously said: “We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented”. Isn’t this one of the most basic tenets in the understanding of trauma? Only when Israel began to defend itself against Hamas’s brutality, did some members of the trauma community suddenly have something to say; and their voices were nothing short of alarming. Very few stood with Israel and against terrorism- many were shamelessly seeking ways to better understand the “reasons” that Israel was attacked.

And maybe I’m a fantasist, but I most certainly did not expect there to be opinions about the horrors of that day. While it’s no surprise that hate and antisemitism are alive and kicking, the tone-deaf theories expressed by “trauma-informed” individuals who are training to be or have earned certification as trauma professionals, and by the psychology majors, therapists and doctors who are practicing and specialize in this field of study, have been truly frightening. These are the same experts who are supposedly equipped to hold space for those who have experienced trauma, who presumably possess empathy, who would have no agendas when listening to the plight of trauma survivors. These are upstanding members of society- one would think- who harbor no sentiments of racism, not only because they themselves may have experienced discrimination in some form, but because more than anything else, their role demands humanity.  It shocked me that there were those I had come to respect in the world of trauma (thankfully, not all), who put their decades of work in question, as they splashed their horrific and biased political analysis of the heinous attack across posts on social media, in conversations with journalists and news anchors, and at trauma conferences (no less!), as if their (dare I say, questionable) credentials as a trauma professional, somehow also endowed them with a PhD in the history of Israel and the Jews!?

So let me ask you, trauma expert: If you were raped, is it possible that it’s because you didn’t say no? If you were beaten or abandoned by your parents, is it possible that you were misbehaving? If you were the scapegoat in your family, is it possible that you were simply rotten? If your skin color isn’t white, is it possible that you in fact belong in the back of the bus?

In the days and weeks after this most savage onslaught, I came face-to-face with the true colors of many members of the trauma community. I learned that hate exists even among those who claim to be equipped to hold space for the other. I watched how many of the teachings of those we thought we could trust, were lost and forgotten because of bigotry. I was dumbfounded to discover that some of these so-called experts had the audacity to share literature and videos explaining the history of the conflict between Israel and the Palestinians, as if anything at all could justify the horrendous attack.

While those who need to hear this are unlikely to be listening, it still must be said: Transparency and accountability are absolutely crucial in the study and treatment of mental health. Would you consider a heart transplant procedure under the care of a cardiac surgeon who lacks even the slightest understanding of this critical organ? Would you send your child to a school where the teachers cannot tolerate children? Does it make sense to share my story with a therapist who has no empathy, who questions if I may be at fault for my traumas, and who is unable to hold space with kindness and compassion?

To any trauma “expert” who has an opinion about the barbaric attack waged against Israel on October 7, take heed: If your credentials are real, and your understanding of trauma is up-to-standard, the time has come for you to step down, or at the very least, to identify and disclose which groups, minorities or individuals you are no longer qualified to work with. You owe this to every trauma survivor who so desperately needs and deserves to be supported by those who can be a compassionate witness to their stories, and who can provide a safe and judgement-free space to heal.

It is now almost 500 harrowing days that feel like an eternity, since I have been forced to confront many difficult truths. I learned that accreditation means very little in the face of hate. I have been reminded that yes, Jews need to be vigilant, and no, we are not paranoid. I have been compelled to accept that there is hostility and judgment and bias and ignorance, and some of this will never go away. I must exercise due diligence when deciding with whom to share my story, my traumas and my past, and I retain the right and responsibility to trust and honor my instincts. And lamentably, the letters after a person’s name in no way guarantee that the individual does not harbor hate, judgment, or agendas, against me or any other minority or group.

Indeed, some truths are a bitter pill to swallow, but our survival depends on it.