Poison This Rat

Scrolling through Pinterest,  I spot a flip ball arcade game called “Poison This Rat.” I see  Adolf’s contorted face with that black shock of hair running across his forehead and his Chaplinesque mustache. His hand clasps his throat, causing his eyes to bulge. The rat has been poisoned.

I study the circa 1940s picture of this World War II countertop game.  I learn the object of the game is to insert pill balls into the mouth of the moving Hitler head. To operate the machine, you insert a penny, and control a knob to turn Hitler’s head. I read the verbiage found on the glass screen: “Poisoned”, “Liars Medal”, “Outstanding Double Cross 1941”, and “Invasion of Britain 1940”

I’m reminded of a similar pinball machine I played in the 50s called, “Kill the Jap.”  For a penny, I got five chances to kill the smiling, slanted-eyed, circular-lensed eyeglass-wearing Tojo in Kaplan’s Lake pinball arcade.

Kaplan’s Lake was situated in my Catskill Mountain hometown of Woodridge, New York. And from around July 1st to Labor Day, I  swam in its muddy waters, wasted my money playing its pinball machines, and raced my friends on its go-kart track. Shivering in my wet bathing suit, I wore a white towel around my neck and munched on kosher hot dogs, smothered in mustard and relish and wrapped in Hostess buns. I washed the dog down with an ice-cold Coke. Of course, the nickel Coke came in a glass bottle.

At Kaplan’s, I learned how to drive, I bought my first illegal firecrackers, and, for a Lincoln-head penny, fantasized about killing Japanese dictators.

And as a child enjoying my summer days at Kaplan’s, I sat staring at the lake and wished I could time travel back to World War II with a bottle of strychnine pills and have access to a Coca Cola  that the Führer was about to drink.

I wanted to see his hand clasp his throat and his bulging eyes popping out of his head as he died in agony.

How I wanted to poison that rat.