Haim Dayan

Property For Rent

Now Available For Rent/Purchase

Beautiful strip of Gazan coastline.

Where better to make your modern seaside abode then in this biblical city on the coastal plain, site of the deeds of Samson, the sole city that defied Alexander the Great, a city beginning with the Egyptians, flourishing with the Romans, and passing thence through a horde of illustrious conquerors?


Glistening coastline, brilliant beaches, with balmy weather most of the year. With over two million residents in a region 25-miles long and 7-miles wide, you will not lack in amicable and sympathetic neighbors. Local produce provided by venerable fallahin (farmers, most humble of hardscrabblers), have an idiosyncratic cuisine fired up by your new very own jidde, or Arabic grandmother. Enjoy such authentic dishes as rumaniyyesayadiyya, and sumaqiyya (*certain items available seasonally, when electricity and water are flowing). Have you had Gaza’s version of Nablus’s knafeh? Why, then, you must rectify the omission of this sweet gustatory privilege straitaways; and what way straighter than Straight Outta Gaza?

Gaza (قِطَاعُ غَزَّةَ ; غَزَّةَ; or just القطاع) is also a great exporter of goods. In fact, in today’s market, Gaza enjoys a booming economic trade with her neighbours. For lighter sleepers, some little trouble in the way of slumber may arise from the recurring exchange of rocket fire. (On the other sandal, virtually guaranteed to bring the whole family together by the universal bind of fear of death.)


True, there are some disadvantage to littoral paradise, but these are few:

Getting there may appear somewhat troublesome to weaker constitutions but, for resolute and purposive spirits, what challenge is presented by mines, electrified fences, and a two-sided embargo? A tunnel, an air balloon, a terrorist-sponsored Flotilla for Peace, as well as a UN humanitarian convoy will all convey you to your destination with—well, if not so much ease and comfort, then with an inarguable amount of dash and elan.

The only real drawback, if you care to term it that, is that the region is dominated by a theological terror state.

A mere trifle, really, when you consider the practically free (as in “cheap”–not in the sense which denotes any amount of political liberty) living that you will doubtless enjoy.

Given, of course, that you can stay alive.

So consider making Gaza your new home today1. Plenty of empty lots available, with space continually being made for the building of new infrastructure.

Insanely cheap, as demand is ridiculously low. Buy Up Now!

[1Homosexuals, Jews, Shi’a, and fans of the show Fauda, need not apply.]

About the Author
American by birth; Israeli by birthright. TLVivian by residence. By the year, enough of them. Haim, namely.
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