There are those who give to receive, plain and simple. They are not generous at all. This is how they make friends or a career. Gifts with strings attached. Not uncommon.
No one can just give and never receive. (Life is give and receive, not give and take, Heaven forbid.) Which does not mean that our giving should depend on receiving. Though most people would respond to receiving by giving. (Except to parental people because as babies we were so used to receiving one-way.) It is important to ask for our needs but also be concerned about needs of others. So some people would give because with their empathy the understand others’ needs or hear their requests.
And there are those who give to make a good impression. On the recipient, on bystanders, and/or on the Creat^r, even. Or in the hope to get something in return, a thank you, a smile, a compliment or Heavenly reward. (I asked one person widely known as a living saint: “Would you do anything different if G^d told you, there will not be any Heavenly reward?” He replied: “If not for the reward, for what do we make the effort?”!) We can spot this hope for gratefulness in us when we give without the recipient knowing it was us who gave. How much would we wish that s/he’d know! It’s hard for many people to be a hidden saint.
Or giving because that is the rule, the law or the obligation. It could be from obedience or from fear, afraid of the consequences if one doesn’t.
And then there are saintly people who give because it gives them a good warm feeling. Sometimes because it erases a guilt feeling. But there can also be the motive to feel good about oneself. Or even to get rid of a request to give: Here, take it! (Which may include giving someone something that is not good for them, like alcohol to an alcoholic. This is not generosity but careless thoughtless stupidity.) Or after having taken too much from others, to still guilt feelings or claims, return a little of it to the world. (A philanthropy of sorts.) To give to receive a good feeling.
And then there are also people who give because that’s what needs to happen. They want a better world and that’s one way to create one. “I want to live in a world in which there is generosity and I will contribute some.” Or giving to teach by example to others to be generous. But, you could say that they still give to themselves: a better world.
And there are many people who give because that’s what they learned, were trained to do in life. They feel driven by responsibility. Giving as a habit, often barely a choice anymore. “Her life was giving.” Some of them desperately would like to receive themselves (listening in the hope to be listened to) but instead, at least, they make do with vicariously enjoying the (hopefully expressed) gratefulness of their beneficiaries.
And then there is giving from feeling generous. Overwhelmed by sympathy or empathy, one “must” give. Or simply, one likes to give. It’s one’s nature. That feels right and good!
There’s also giving to be true to one’s community’s, people’s, state’s, religion’s, upbringing’s or inborn morality or one’s feeling or thought or philosophy of life that one “should.” How much and how one is “expected” to give may also be prescribed or alternatively be dictated by how obligated or compelled one feels. NB: Charity starts at home.
And lastly, there are people who are not possessive or they don’t feel that they are deserving of anything, so they give away all they ever get.
So the question is, is it possible to give from oneself as a conscious decision without wanting anything in return, to do good to others or the world in general? But then, why would one give? What would be one’s motive to give if one would give 100% altruistically? Or is there always (perhaps a hidden) selfish motive under any veneer of saintliness?
Well, pure altruism exists and this is how it works. Giving because it’s a proper expression of who one is. It fits me.
Of course, it is good to (have) be(en) a little bit altruistic. But why not go all the way? Why hide or limit expressing who we truly are?
Just giving because it fits me, does not disavow the Obligation a Jew has to believe in Divine Reward. Rather, the giving is not related to incentives or remunerations. But the Obligation to give did fall away because doing a Commandment cancels that Commandment for now (assuk bemitzvot, patur memitzvot). (Jews who give because they just feel like doing so, are not exempt from the Commandments to give. They should still learn to give because we are Divinely commanded.)
We should be thankful to cynical people who questioned altruism. They showed that most forms of “generosity” are not “it.”
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. None of his content is generated by the new bore on the block, AI. *
As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. Or not at all because he doesn't claim G^d talks to him. He gives him good ideas—that's all. MM doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. *
This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Of the 15 (!) books he has in mind, the next two are about homosexuality in Judaism and new rabbinics. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 2600 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog that also may contain updates to Times of Israel posts, to which one may subscribe, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/ or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. *
He's getting ready to publicize books on: "Free Will, "Judaism and Homosexuality, "His parents in the Holocaust, "Judaism, "A New Torah Translation and "A New Hebrew Grammar, "Co-Counseling, "Vegan Facts, "Immortality, and more. *
Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He agrees that in a post-truth world, that's irrelevant, but then this is for the record. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. *
Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. *
Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. One of his rabbis calls him Mr. Innovation [Ish haChidushim]. Yet, his originalities seem to root deeply in traditional Judaism, though they may grow in unexpected directions. In fact, he claims he's modernizing nothing. Rather, mainly basing himself on the basic Hebrew Torah text, he tries to rediscover classical Jewish thought almost lost in thousands of years of stifling Gentile domination and Jewish assimilation. (He pleads for a close reading of the Torah instead of going by rough assumptions of what it would probably mean and before fleeing to Commentaries.) This, in all aspects of life, but prominently in the areas of Free Will, Activism, Homosexuality for men, and Redemption. *
He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. *
He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. *
He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. *
His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. His posts are spell, grammar, and style polished by AI, but all written by himself. *
To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. *
His newest books you may find here: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMoshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&s=relevancerank&text=Moshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1
