Racism is tenacious, so we must be more tenacious

Unlearning racism is a slow process but doable and beneficial to all

I believe that most White folks got racism poured into our heads from the cradle, and is hard to get rid of. But it’s not impossible. In fact, it’s such a nice example of something worthwhile we can do with our lives.

Heartbroken

We can’t become expert ex-racists by just reading textbooks or watching some video clips because the work we need to do is deeply emotional. Unless we cry our hearts out for countless hours, it’ll be shallow pretense.

As White kids, we got heartbroken from the racism we saw around us. We protested but often now don’t recall. We must recover these memories.

We were disgusted. But isolated from the world’s majority and disgusted with the Whites around, we grew isolated and lonely as no one else ever.

Some 30 years ago, I led a weekend workshop for Whites breaking isolation. I’ve never seen so many tears, and I’ve never been more scared.

We even got isolated from our fully human, beautiful bodies. We can’t dance, we can’t run, we can’t swing because we are stiff like a corpse.

Not only our bodies froze. Also our brains. Listen to a non-White talking about racism (or a woman about sexism, etc.). Often, at first, we can’t talk like that. But we can stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the oppressed.

Prioritizing non-Whites is not ‘reverse racism.’ It’s the correct thing to do for four reasons. 1. It’s an attempt to neutralize still-present racism. 2. It’s an exaggeration in the opposite direction to end up balanced eventually. 3. It’s often realistic as they will have an easier time making things good for everyone than Whites with our unaware racism. And 4. It’s not as if we Whites did such a bang-up job. It’s only fair to give them a shot at it.

This sounds like a stereotype? When racism is an imposed stereotype and so those designated to perpetuate it (us) often became caricatures of us.

Large parts of our own humanity got locked away in our Souls, but enough tears can regain it all. There is no substitute for tears though.

Basics

No White person needs to invent the wheel. Many went before us who can teach us some basics of anti-racism. Some Whites seem color blind, but most of us are not. We don’t need to learn to ignore color.

The first ethnic group to be proud of is your own. You cannot support others if you see them as ‘ethnic’ and ‘exotic’ while holding that you’re nothing special. Many ‘proud racists’ show a failed attempt at regaining pride after being so ashamed as kids of grownups’ racism. Suppressing shame and idolizing supremacy aren’t the way. We’re nothing better and nothing less than anyone else. We all were always special and precious.

We don’t need to be a person of color to understand what is oppression and what we need from allies. Stand up for yourself and others who are oppressed as you, as a woman, elderly, left-handed, you-name-it person.

Don’t profile yourself as a wannabe good White in contrast to the White bad guys. That will not uproot racism. Every White person is our close one who needs to be liberated from deeply hurtful pseudo-feelings, thoughts, images, intentions, actions, identities, identifications, and histories.

Remember that anything you as a White person feel around non-Whites in general is because of racism in your head. They do not ‘make’ you feel this.

Act and Sit Still

It is important to act first and cry (see above) later. The first action is to discover non-Whites around you. Then connect and listen. And smile.

Don’t ask them to speak to get informed. You have books and other Whites for that. Listen to give them a chance to be heard and vindicated.

Warm, unjudgmental listening is part of giving up control. Guilt feelings about the history of racism make Whites defensive and apologetic. Remember, we are not under attack. We are not the issue. We can give up controlling others we were taught to look down on. Try it. Cry later.

When your new non-White friend becomes angry, do enjoy being so close, and getting personal information. When s/he starts crying, don’t smother the tears. Be warm and don’t control. Especially don’t explain to them anything. Just be an environment in which healing can take place.

Yes, this might seem unfair and make us extremely nervous. But in all fairness, it’s our turn to feel disadvantaged and uncomfortable.

Yet, keep it reasonable and intelligent. Don’t pick the worst non-Whites to get close to, like a mobster. Refuse to be alone with a Black man you can’t trust. Though most interracial rapes are done by Whites, don’t allow a Black man to rape you because you don’t want to be/look like a racist. Don’t give all your savings to a hungry, homeless, alcoholic, Black person. Don’t offer a drink. Suggest sharing a meal in a restaurant and to talk.

Us

We must talk to other Whites about our distresses, not to non-Whites. They have enough on their plate. They didn’t make us racist and they don’t need to heal us—unless they insist, but that is not something to rely on.

A potent agenda for a group of White folks meeting to lay off racism is for each to take time and share: 1. What happened with the commitment you made the last time we met? 2. Give an example of breaking your White isolation since our last meeting. 3. Cry warm tears about any success you had; cry bitter tears about any failure. 4. Tell us of your earliest memory of racism. 5. What small commitment may you make until our next meeting?

The issue is not to ‘help those poor Black folks.’ Pity is barely better than arrogance. We can choose anti-racism for our own liberation. To become ourselves again (see above). To contribute to justice and truth. To stop racism so that White babies don’t need to hide in shame any longer. To stop the killing—all oppressions murder. To have a fuller life.

***

This is just a quick list of things off the top of my head. Nothing is written in stone and nothing is perfect or definite. I’m doing this for 45 years. I’m not finished. And I was raised by anti-racist parents.

The blog text continues below the clips.

Continuation of the MSNBC YouTube clips in chronological order:

Thanks to the Tennessee Three, history was made. Just three people did it.

Another confirmation for the Israeli public that no supermajority of elected politicians can ever have the last say without a High Court being able to stop bigotry and bullying approved by no matter what numbers.

PS: On that note, my previous conclusion the Israeli People had won from the government turned out right already before the Knesset reconvenes.

About the Author

MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. None of his content is generated by the new bore on the block, AI. * As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. Or not at all because he doesn't claim G^d talks to him. He gives him good ideas—that's all. MM doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. * This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 2000 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog, to which one may subscribe too, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/ or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. * Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. * Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. One of his rabbis calls him Mr. Innovation [Ish haChidushim]. Yet, his originalities seem to root deeply in traditional Judaism, though they may grow in unexpected directions. In fact, he claims he's modernizing nothing. Rather, mainly basing himself on the basic Hebrew Torah text, he tries to rediscover classical Jewish thought almost lost in thousands of years of stifling Gentile domination and Jewish assimilation. (He pleads for a close reading of the Torah instead of going by rough assumptions of what it would probably mean and before fleeing to Commentaries.) This, in all aspects of life, but prominently in the areas of Free Will, Activism, Homosexuality for men, and Redemption. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. * He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. * He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. * His newest books you may find here: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMoshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&s=relevancerank&text=Moshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1