Risk free ways to avoid life’s monotony

Let’s be honest, it’s highly unlikely that you or I or anyone we know will be or do any of the things we always hoped for when we were younger (become President of the United States or a famous rock star) simply because like almost everyone, daily life is made up of a carefully regimented schedule that is lodged deep inside what easily has become one of predictable monotony.

So you look at your significant other and think to yourself, not so significant.

You take a look in the mirror at your personal sense of style quite aware of the fact that you have been stuck in the same fashion decade since you turned 18 and that what once may have been considered mode is now simply a way to cover up all the Pie à la Mode in your midriff that you have been eating as of late.

You get to your place of occupation which isn’t really occupying you or your wallet.

You arrive home at your domicile, a place of shelter which is much more of a money pit than what one would exactly refer to as a shelter.

Your bank account is just a fabricated concept that the bank created in order to make you accountable to them way more often than they actually are accountable to you.

And what you like to refer to as your “means of transportation” is much more of an end than a “means” by any standards.

So as you stare wistfully at the postcard from Hawaii, that your friend sent you while on his honeymoon, tacked to the cork-strip on the back of your office cubicle, with the white sandy beaches and palm trees blowing in the wind, you begin to wonder if there might be some way to escape the monotony of your everyday life without taking any major risks, making any drastic changes or having to involve or alarm those closest to you (especially if you are a chartered accountant).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMOmB1q8W4Y

Here are some cost free, painless, zero commitment ideas that will add excitement to your life without taking any unnecessary risks or making any drastic changes:

1. Buy really fancy underwear, underwear for strippers or underpants with super heroes on them and walk around pretending to be whoever or whatever your underwear style wants you to be.
2. Exchange wigs with your neighbor, your neighbor’s wife and or your wife and live each day with a different hair style without having to make any actual changes, drastic or otherwise, to your own dull hairdo.
3. Learn an entire opera off by heart and sing it repeatedly throughout the day.
4. Plan to bear tackle whoever is bothering you that day, and roar quietly every time you pass them in the hall. Don’t really attack. Violence is not the answer. Just the planning and the roaring should be enough to create a stir in your life
5. Write a resignation letter where you call your boss a not nice name and threaten to poop in his hat. Don’t actually deliver the letter and please make sure to keep using the toilets. Rewrite the letter as often as you think is necessary in order to avoid actually committing career suicide.
6. Cancel your auto debit payment with the cable company and then count how many times they call before cancelling your service. For added value, you can answer the phone sometimes and talk to them in a foreign language or invent one so that they don’t understand you.
7. Call up random phone numbers and confess your love to whoever answers and ask them to marry you. You never know.
8. Dance wherever you go. Just do it.

9. At work create fake tasks that make you look really busy. For example: type each letter on the keyboard a hundred times, in alphabetical order. Another option is to work on filing all of the papers on your desk in 10 separate piles in alphabetical order based on the third letter in the third paragraph of each document.
10. Contact and make plans to meet someone who you haven’t actually spoken to in more than 20 years and then send someone else in your place.

All in all, life is what you make it. So try not to mess up whatever stability you have succeeded in achieving until now. Monotony may sometimes be a bore, but consider the alternative. Just saying.