Senior Moments

When you hear the term “senior moments,” or even use the term yourself, it  connotes a negative. It often becomes an excuse for forgetting something or making a mistake. No matter what the circumstances, it is always, and invariably, a negative term. At its core, the words are ageist, a “put down” of older adults, a reinforcement of the idea that anyone over a certain age is “less than” rather than whole.

But what if we took another look at senior moments? What if we thought of them in a different context and recognized these moments as opportunities to celebrate age and aging, to recognize achievement and wisdom and ongoing growth and learning? Here are some senior moments that spring to mind for me. It’s a senior moment when I watch elders, who live in a long term care setting, use video chat to develop “pen pals” with elders who live in a similar setting in Chicago. They are asking each other questions about their lives and creating new relationships. Yes, even in their late 80’s and beyond. That’s what a senior moment can be.

It’s a senior moment when we take long term care and assisted living elders to the beach at Coney Island. They share memories and stories and enjoy the delicious, greasy French fries that they remember from the past. They share the history of both Coney Island, and their pasts, with one another and they comment, perceptively and knowingly, about the changes that they see today.

Senior moment? Is that what a lively book club discussion is called? Not only have the elders read the book that’s being discussed but they come to the conversation with insights, questions and their own critiques. How about when a 94-year-old teaches Tai Chi to his peers? Or an 85-yer-old offers instruction in Mah Jongg?

For those of us who work with older adults, we have senior moments every day. Those moments are positive and engaged. We see elders who go into the kitchens and teach the staff how to make the specialties that they made when they lived in their own homes. We know that elders, regardless of age, are working and/or volunteering, continuing to contribute to the world around them.

Next time you are tempted to think about using the term “senior moment” to denigrate the abilities of an older adult, think again. Think about the physician who was still practicing at 100 and a better, more up-to-date diagnostician than some of his younger colleagues. Think about Henry Kissinger who was still working, and traveling globally, when he became a centenarian. Our older adults have a lot to offer in so many ways. Redefine senior moments and you redefine both their aging and your own.