Seriously Awful–Seriously Funny

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• The most common boy’s name for Israeli babies born in 2023 was . . . Mohammed. We stink at genocide.
• “10% for the Big Guy” wasn’t supposed to be about the Big Guy’s approval ratings.

• Chuck Schumer, who seems determined to abase himself as Majority Leader of the Senate until he can only abase himself as the Minority Leader of the Senate, issued a condemnation of the “disgraceful decision by the MAGA Supreme Court–which is comprised of three justices appointed by Mr. Trump himself,” that held a President may not be prosecuted for acts taken in his official capacity. This has been the law in the United States since . . . oh, at least 1783. The Constitution provides for impeachment in the event that the President misbehaves, but you can’t have her prosecuted for doing something within the scope of her duties, e.g., pardoning someone, questioning the validity of election procedures, directing military operations overseas (even, it seems, in President Obama’s case, targeted at American citizens), issuing a veto, even asking an election official whether there may have been improprieties in an election, and certainly not for telling people to demonstrate peacefully. That is what the separation of powers requires. And the Supreme Court comprises nine justices, only three of whom were appointed by Trump. Schumer has revealed himself as the worst kind of demagogue–the stupid kind.
• “Stupid.”  Word association. That brings me to AOC, who has announced that she will be filing for impeachment of unnamed Supreme Court Justices for the high crimes and misdemeanors of doing their jobs. It seems that she misses the stability formerly provided by Jamaal Bowman. He kept her tethered to reality.  Now all she has is Cori Bush, who is . . . untethered.
• People tend to prize things they do well and judge others harshly if they fail to attain that level of proficiency. George Clooney is really good at memorizing and repeating things that other people write. Then he saw Joe Biden try to do the same. Is it any wonder that George has had enough?
• Actually, however, Biden’s decision to stay in the race makes a lot of sense. It is now clear that he is not the one to blame for inflation, Afghanistan, the border, the abuses of power, the deficit. This man has clearly not been calling the shots. The man can barely stand up and can’t form a sentence. Yes, the idiot(s) who have been running the country so incompetently should be disqualified from election. But what has that to do with Joe Biden?
• Someone shot Donald Trump in the ear. Bleeding, he fell to the ground. Brave Secret Service personnel surrounded him, shielding him with their bodies, and started to hurry him offstage. “Wait!” he said. “Let me get my shoes.” And people say that Melania has had no influence on his behavior or character. The man understands the importance of accessories.
• Alvin Bragg is convening a grand jury to consider indicting Trump for inciting the shooting. Michael Cohen is prepared to testify as to . . . just about anything.
• First thoughts: “Oh, no!” Second thoughts: “I hope he’s OK.” Third thoughts: “I hope the shooter is not Jewish.”
• An idle thought: Suppose that some organization announced that, while it does not endorse violence, it disapproves of Trump and therefore understands and sympathizes with the motivations underlying the shooter’s actions and . . .  will be paying his surviving family a monthly stipend in appreciation for his actions.  Or, to take it one step further, suppose that organization announced that, while it does not endorse violence, anyone who attempts to shoot Trump in the future will himself be entitled to a monthly stipend if captured and incarcerated, with the funds to go to his family if he is killed. That’s what the PA does for terrorists who kill Israelis. Think about it. Accessories to murder?
• Bronny James makes you understand the unfairness of the legacy admissions policies of Ivy League schools.
• Candace Owens claimed that the experiments of Josef Mengele are too weird to have actually occurred and has labeled them “bizarre propaganda.” Next thing you know, people will be claiming that actual slavery existed in these United States. She has also asserted that Arabs in Israel are compelled to live in a ghetto known as the Arab Quarter of the Old City of Jerusalem. Like the college students who are her ideological polar opposites, she is intelligent, bright, and articulate, but totally ignorant and uneducated. How sad. And how dangerous.
• The following people’s thoughts and prayers are with Donald Trump:  Adam Schiff, Joe Biden, Muriel Bowser, Hakeem Jeffries, Kamala and Doug. Barack Obama doesn’t do the prayer thing, but he thinks that we should recommit ourselves to civility; he and Michelle wish Trump a quick recovery. Nancy Pelosi is praying for him. Wouldn’t you respect them all more if they just stayed quiet?
• When you see the world’s focus on Gaza, and the lack of attention to the tens of thousands dead and millions starving in Sudan, do you attribute it to racism or antisemitism? When you factor in the carnage in Syria at the hands of Bashar Assad, does that clarify things?
• What is it that enables a man who has just been shot at, and shot; who does not know the extent of the danger facing him; who knows that he has narrowly averted death–to force his Secret Service guards to stop while he raises his fist in defiance, yells out “Fight, fight, fight,” and does not depart until the crowd is chanting “U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A”?  He may be a deeply flawed human being, and he may have some reprehensible characteristics, but GOD! What a performer!  What political instincts! What a flair for the (melo)dramatic!
• You may have missed this while you were looking through your old clippings about Russian collusion and the Chinese efforts to undermine free elections in the US, but last week, Avril Haines, the Director of the Office of National Intelligence, issued a report claiming that affiliates of Iran’s government are providing financial support to protesters of Israel’s activities in Gaza. Yup.  Those fancy tents at Columbia and Berkeley? Say thank you to the Ayatollah, using money received from you-know-who. And the media is concerned only about certain kinds of interference in our internal affairs. So Iran gets a pass.
• You think that this would work? If both of them agree not to run, both parties commit to nominate only those candidates who pledge in writing to pardon Trump and the entire Biden family for any and all alleged crimes committed from the beginning of time and prior to the next election. Takes those issues off the table and saves the country from all those politically tinged trials.
• President Biden refuses to release the audiotapes of the interviews that led Special Counsel Robert Hur to conclude that no jury would convict “a sympathetic, well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory,” even though the claim of privilege is attenuated by the fact that the transcript has already been released. I think that he should agree to release the videotapes of the interview if everyone will agree to destroy all evidence of the debate. Win-Win.
• Truth Dies In Darkness Department. CNN’s first headline on the story was “Secret Service rushes Trump off stage after he falls at rally.” The Washington Post reported “Trump rushed off stage after loud noises at rally.” Sort of reminiscent of the headline in the local Washington paper on April 15, 1865: “President Lincoln leaves Ford’s Theater performance of Our American Cousin in middle of last act. Cast miffed.”

If things weren’t so seriously awful, they would be funny. But if things weren’t funny, they would be seriously awful.