David Kilimnick

Sermons of Rebuke: VaYikra Excerpts

Shabbat Shalom
(2:1) The leftovers of the afternoon offering went to Ahron and his sons. ‘This is the holy of holies from the offerings of H.”‘
After something is used for holiness it is still holy. You don’t just throw leftovers out. The sisterhood doesn’t know how to use a freezer in this congregation. We have a great dairy kiddush, with amazing cheesecake and the next thing you know, it is all in the garbage…
A shule may not be destroyed and have its money used for something less holy, such as the Gabai’s house. Lets talk about that…It is holy. You treat holy as holy.
Just because it is over, doesn’t mean that you can now throw the future generations out. You don’t give up on them. They have to keep the torch of holy going. Which is why I have donated 5,000 dollars to the shule in New York that I grew up in. There are holy people there…A sisterhood who uses leftovers.
Let me tell you a story about a young rabbi who had a bright future and moved to work at Congregation Anshe Shalom…
Only the Kohanim could eat this, and inside the courtyard. They don’t take it home, like the Gabai who took all of the shule’s money with him.
And you don’t take the food before the offering. You wait for Kiddush to be made at Kiddush. Everything in its proper time.
The sisterhood has been taking the kiddush food way before we have been saying kiddush. Which is why there have been so many leftovers…You pack up before it is done and then everybody goes home starving.
On your Bat Mitzvah today, Shira, you should always remember to find holiness and use it for the good. Allow for other people to use it correctly as well. Do not steal it, like the Gabai of the shule. Go for away from your family and you shall find. Eat in the holy places, not in your parents’ home.
***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.
Shabbat Shalom
About the Author
David Kilimnick: Jerusalem's Comedian performs at his Off The Wall Comedy Basement- Jerusalem's first comedy club, every Thursday in English and every Wednesday in Hebrew, in downtown Jerusalem. David may also be contacted to perform for tour groups in Israel & Synagogue fundraisers around the world, and for your private parties. Contact: 972(50)875-5688 David Kilimnick, dubbed Israel's father of Anglo comedy by the Jerusalem Post, is leading the new pack of English-speaking stand-up comics in Israel . At his Off the Wall Comedy Basement club in Jerusalem (the first of its kind), Kilimnick has been offering up penetrating observations of life in his turbulent adopted country. Tourists and native Israelis alike have been flocking to his cozy, intimate club and raving about his unique ability to transform the daily chaos and aggravation of Israeli life into an evening full of laughter. Kilimnick's material covers the rocky transition from his "New York Cocoon" to his new life as an "Oleh Chadash" or Israeli newcomer. Still single, Kilimnick touches on his religious upbringing, his rabbinic insights, the injustices of Jewish grammar school and Jewish summer camp, and the looks he gets from his Jewish mother because he isn't married yet. Meanwhile, Kilimnick's universal humor takes you on a tour of funny through the Holy Land. Incorporating routines from his shows 'The Aliyah Monologues Classic 1 & 2','Find Me A Wife,' 'Frum From Birth: Religious Manifesto', his music show 'Avtala Band' & more, David Kilimnick justifies his Aliyah (move to Israel), while taking you through the reality of life as a single immigrant, Israel experiences, holidays & family left behind. You are sure to walk away entertained, enlightened, or with David. David has recently appeared on "Bip" Israel's comedy network, צחוק מעבודב and has been hailed by the tough Israeli media as a rising star who possesses Seinfeldian charm when he takes to the stage.
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