Shaky Scales: Unreconciled Confrontations
Traveling abroad, some fears and anxiety mitigated. We say we won’t speak Hebrew, but we do. Nobody’s dirty looks shot in our direction. In Madrid, only on the Gran Via, once, barely noticeable graffiti for freeing Palestina. The presumption that “Free Palestine,” means replacing Israel is my problem with the idea.
Nothing uncomfortable in Toledo. At the Sinagoga de Santa Maria la Blanca, a younger man approached us in Hebrew, saying he couldn’t see where there had been an aron kodesh. We switched to English. He was from Nottingham. Exchanged a few comments on history. Cautious and less cautious comments. Haim: “Many more Muslims in London than Madrid.” Not a judgment statement. An observation. The Jewish Brit: “If you want to limit Muslim immigration take into consideration how you see – historically, or presently – limiting Jewish immigration in different places.” I agree. Yet, there was an implied judgment that we disagreed or qualify things differently when it affects us. He was mistaken, but he wasn’t at our dinner table. Conversation went no deeper.
In Lisbon, not speaking Portuguese, I conjectured that one unidentifiable word on a banner meant “liberal.” The rest of the words appeared to call for a Palestinian state with a social democracy. Apparently, the banner sponsored by a socialist organization. Sounded reasonable, our skepticism about democracy guiding Palestinian leaders who might make the determination, notwithstanding A benevolent, non-democratic regime, seeking to live in peace with Israel? That could work, until democracy in general reclaims its right to its theoretical status.
Walking to Rua da Judiaria did not feel threatening. Yet, we are so programmed to be cautious. Not without reason. New Hebrew tiles embedded in the concrete bottom of a wall reminded me how much has changed since I visited Lisbon in 1982.
Media headlines on my phone inescapably connecting to home. Bibi blaming the greatest PR challenge ever imposed on Israel on the person who leaked a video from Sde Teman prison. She pays the price. No government responsibility for human rights violations? If it’s not a tooth for a tooth, if we say there are things that we would never do, if we have a higher standard, why does Bibi get to be selective about accountability?
Traveling. Detaching. Superficially, anyway. An Israeli friend texts me. A former West Bank Palestinian colleague gave birth Friday. I text congratulations directly.
More intermittent texting with a US friend venting privately about media posts of another friend. Engaged. Responded, superficially. Unavoidably reaching depth from another pothole. Reminded: even when we think alike, there are nuances. When we care, every nuance upsets us. Like people – from my experience – newly discovering religious paths, seeking to convert you, seeking validation of their newfound ways, so we find ourselves aggravated momentarily in the nuances of differences regarding what we care about. Then, we recall it’s also about who, not just what. We care about people who think differently and attempt to avoid confrontation. Then we become confrontational in exchanges of agreement, because sometimes aggravated confrontation is a release of our frustrations with the perpetually conflicting views we contain, interfering with emotions, preventing pursuit of beliefs. Or perhaps we’re simply struggling to balance views and beliefs on a scale of values.
For me, this is inseparable from struggling to see how a Jewish, democratic state can be justified. I can make weak arguments and weakly debate myself and become enraged at thinking that is the best I can do. A lame excuse. We must do better. We deserve representation by better leaders.
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Harriet Gimpel – November 2, 2025
