Should We Re-open the Country?
Here’s what the experts said:
The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the
Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but The Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception,
while The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Many Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!”
While the Pediatricians said, “Oh, grow up!”
Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.
The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would “put a whole new face on the matter.”
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but The Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the rear ends in Washington.
New Age Noah
A new flood is foretold by the world’s weather specialists and they say that nothing can be done about it. In three days, the waters will wipe out the world.
The Dalai Lama appears on television and pleads with everybody to turn to Buddhism. That way, they will at least reach enlightenment.
The Pope goes on television and says that the world must accept Christianity in order to attain salvation.
The Chief Rabbi of Israel takes a slightly different approach: “We all have three days to learn how to live under water.”