Stalked

Can you imagine helping Survivors of violent crimes and end up being stalked by one or more of the “alleged” sexual predators of those you helped? Can you imagine having a successful career and then suddenly needing to live a life in hiding to stay alive? Having to give up contact with friends and family members to remain safe. This is exactly what has happened to me.

About 1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men have been stalked at some point in their lives.  Less than a third (29%) of all stalking survivors reported the victimization to police. For many when the stalking survivors do report the crimes to police, they are told there is nothing that can be done without proof.

Several stalking survivors are told to higher private detectives to collect evidence for them to prove a crime has been committed. 

There are many types of stalking. The most common is in the form of stalking is intimate partner abuse. In those cases law enforcement are much more willing to get involved, since the crimes are easier to prove.

For over twenty years I have been stalked. My experience started back in 2004 while running The Awareness Center (the international Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Assault). The organization was the first Jewish organization to address sex crimes in Jewish communities globally. The work was controversial since the organization was the first of its kind to offer a registry of alleged and convicted sex offenders on it.

Prior to the work of The Awareness Center, alleged sex offenders would be kicked out of a community, and then move on to the next, or the crimes were covered up by community leaders due to who the offender was and or who they were connected to. 

I had no idea when I founded the organization that my life’s work would end with a few alleged sexual predators and their fan base wanting to kill me.

One “alleged” sexual predator actually told me on the phone that “he was a cat, and I was the mouse”. “That he was going to toy with me until he was ready to pounce and kill me”. When I reported the phone conversation to the police, I was told that “I had no proof of what was said, so there was nothing that could be done.” During that same time period I had been in three serious car accidents within a six month period. Prior to that time I had never been in a car accident, except when my car slid on ice during a blizzard, years before. Since 2004 I have been injured in a total of ten hit and run car accidents. My home had been ransacked, and my medical records at a major hospital system had been hacked into.

After The Awareness Center closed, I moved a few times to distance myself from the Jewish world. I returned to my career as a psychotherapist in private practice. Within a year I received an anonymous phone call from a man who told me he knew where I worked and lived, and started naming my clients, including where they lived. I immediately called the police and reported the crime. Sadly once again I was informed that since the call was not recorded I had no proof a crime was committed. 

As a trauma specialist I knew I had to protect my clients from my stalker, and shut down my practice. For my own personal safety I relocated to another state. Within a year I was found again. At first I wasn’t sure.

I had minor surgery, a friend drove me to the hospital that morning in my car since his was in the shop. When we got back to my car, all the car handles were broken off. I remember thinking that was such an odd crime. A police report was made.

A few weeks later I was involved in another hit and run car accident. I had stopped at a red light. I noticed in my rearview mirror a car slowly approaching. It suddenly sped up and hit my car. The driver slowed down after hitting my car, smiled, and started waving  as he passed.

This time there was a witness, who followed the car that hit me, yet the car got away. The driver that hit me had a long criminal history. The belief was he was hired by someone to commit the crime, yet once again it couldn’t be proven. I once again was injured in this car accident, which required multiple surgeries over the years. 

At one point through Facebook I started reconnecting with childhood friends. Sadly, rumors about me began, some were true while others were not. I wanted to trust people I knew in my youth, yet then I learned a childhood friend was paid a significant amount of money by a stranger to tell him where I lived. I knew this friend was struggling financially, and suddenly was able to pay off their bills. I had no way of proving anything, yet with the hate being thrown in my face, I learned I needed to live my life in hiding. I no longer could safely work, nor could I safely be connected to anyone from my past. 

I started to connect the dots. When ever something bad occurred in my alleged stalkers life, I got hit by a car. My alleged stalker is an extremely wealthy individual who is a master of manipulation, yet my hands were strapped. There was nothing I could do to stop him. 

Due to being stalked I live in poverty. I have been unhomed for over three years. My health has been failing me. I’ve been fortunate to have a core group of people who have financially assisted me, yet as we all age, several people have passed away and or the financial resources dwindle. 

Since stalking falls under domestic violence, I’ve reached out to several domestic shelters for help. Since my stalking doesn’t fall under intimate partner abuse, I don’t qualify for services. The other issue is that due to health limitations and unable to walk up flights of stairs, I was turned away from others. Most shelters do not cater to senior citizens. They mostly service women with children. 

Within days I will have no other option but to live out of my car. Having several complex health  issues I know my chances of survival are slim. I wanted to share this part of my life publicly, since I know I am not the only stalking survivor who has been in a similar situation as me. Perhaps my life experiences will help to create better laws, and save the life of another stalking survivor.