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Roger M. Kaye
A retired physicist reinvented as thriller novels writer

Sucking Eggs

Recently, I have been on the receiving end of much well-intended advice. As, sadly, I no longer look young, it is often assumed that I need help with the simplest of tasks. Workmen, visiting my house, try to speak to me in atrocious English, even though I arrived in Israel long before they were born.

I am sometimes tempted to tell them not to teach their grandmother, or in this case grandfather, to suck eggs, but there is no way they would understand this saying.
For the few readers who may not have heard this expression, it refers to a person giving advice to another person in a subject with which the other person is already perfectly familiar.

The expression dates back to the time when many elderly people had very bad teeth, or even no teeth. The simplest way for them to eat protein was to poke a pinhole in the shell of a raw egg and suck out the contents. Grandmothers were already experts at this and had no need of advice.

The goldfish in my garden pool are well aware of the situation. When the gardener makes his regular visit (just mowing the lawn and trimming a large hedge, I’m in charge of the flowers) he tells me they need feeding as they float near the surface, with their mouths open, looking starved. They know that they were fed just an hour ago, but it’s worth a try.

My car is especially concerned about my well-being and issues a stream of warnings – wrong gear, handbrake off, turn lights on, turn lights off …..  It seems to think that it is the driver, not me.

Even my email believes it is necessary to remind me that I have not replied to a message I received a week ago. I have tried to explain why I have chosen not to reply, but it won’t listen to me and keeps issuing stern warnings.

I hope that this blog has said eggactly what I intended, but the reader is invited to suck out what they like, even if they have to come out of their shell. I promise not to crack any more yolks.

About the Author
The author has been living in Rehovot since making Aliya in 1970. A retired physicist, he divides his time between writing adventure novels, getting his sometimes unorthodox views on the world into print, and working in his garden. An enthusiastic skier and world traveller, the author has visited many countries. His first novels "Snow Job - a Len Palmer Mystery" and "Not My Job – a Second Len Palmer Mystery" are published for Amazon Kindle. The author is currently working on the third Len Palmer Mystery - "Do Your Job".
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