I walked into the bagel bar, masked, socially distanced and ready to pay and get the hell out.
Glancing around, I observed about 15 noshers seated in the small dining room.
Most, if not all, of the patrons wore no masks.
But then out of the corner of my eye, I spotted four bald landsmen, all in their mid-70s, maskless and sitting right in the middle of the restaurant.
Sitting as casually, as if they had recently arrived from Planet X.
Four shiny headed, thin-skinned Jewish men schmoozing, sipping and munching.
I thought, “Those four round patches of naked skin atop their heads should be covered with embroidered blue and white starred kipas reading:
“Spread the Love—Wear a Mask.”
But these alte kakers were not allowing this invisible virus from stopping their enjoyment of a maskless indoor breakfast.
They acted as if they had been recently vaccinated.
I pictured them dipping their toes, bellies and heads in the cold waters of Lake Covid.
While singing, “Macho, macho man, I’ve got to be, a macho man.”
And I watched as these virile men tried to attract 50-year-old women with their maskless smiles.
But I was reminded of the tough guys in hospital beds, crying and dying on my TV.
“I thought it was a hoax.”
“I thought it was fake news.”
“I implore all you viewers, please wear a mask. Please socially distance. Please wash your hands. For G-d’s sake give a crap about your loved ones. The numbers aren’t lying.”
My eyes focused on these gentle old men, while my brain rattled off a bunch of questions:
Don’t you realize that we are now entering the belly of the Corona beast?
Did you just venture out of the group home for a breakfast experience?
Are your lives so sad that you came here find death on the menu?
Have you lost your zest for life?
Are you mentally ill, selfish scoundrels, intentionally seeking to get infected?
Do you have early stage Alzheimer’s?
And then it hit me.
They’re committing suicide by Covid?
Oh, how sad!