Tales from the Land of Milk and Misery

Every morning, I wake up with the hostages and go to sleep with them. They are constantly on my mind. My heart cries out for their return home.

Of all the personal stories of the 101 hostages, the story of the Bibas family touches me the most. On 7 October 2023, Hamas abducted the Bibas family from their home in Nir Oz. First they took Yarden who surrendered himself to save his wife and two children. After they left with Yarden, another terrorist group entered the Bibas home and found Shiri with their two young children: 4-year-old Ariel and 9-month-old Kfir. Shiri’s parents, who also lived on the kibbutz, were murdered. The photo of Shiri with her kids circulated on social media.

I have been writing on X, LinkedIn and Facebook about the Bibas family on a regular basis. The image of horrified Shiri, trying to protect her young children like a lioness, resonates with me and does not leave my mind.

Israel Katorza is a very funny stand-up comedian. After two hours of jokes and laughter, he took a chair to the centre of the stage and said, in a very different, serious voice, that before we went home he wanted to tell us a story. Katorza said: After the horrific attack of 7 October, I went to Nir Oz and visited the Bibas home. I sat there, amidst the toys of Ariel and Kfir and reflected on the family. Their story touched my heart. I established contact and relations with the worried family. They are constantly on my mind. I also go to hospitals, visiting injured soldiers. We must see the hostages return to their homes. We must reassure the families of the fallen and injured that their sacrifice was not in vain. I could have let you go home with a happy spirit but I promised that I would end each of my performances speaking about the hostages, the fallen and the injured. We can sit here and laugh because of the sacrifices that others have made. And a society we are obliged to ensure the safe return of the hostages to their loving families.

***

With a tour guide, I visited the most sensitive and explosive place on earth, the Temple Mount/Haram al–Sharif. The guide explained the history of the place and how it became the holiest place for Jews, the third-holiest place for Muslims, and a sacred place also for Christians. The door of the al-Aqsa Mosque was opened so we could look inside. The Dome of the Rock is impressive. It was not always golden. The Jordanians added the golden-plated tile in 1959–61 during its restoration. It was King Hussein’s initiative. Before then, the Dome had a dark lead covering.

Perhaps Mohammed Bin Salman would initiate a similar restoration project for the al-Aqsa Mosque which looks pale compared to the Omar monument.

***

My friend Nick resides in East Jerusalem. He knows the area well. We did a tour of the Old City walls. It costs 25 NIS per person and it is worth every Shekel. The tour has two entrances. One walk is about 40 minutes long. The other is much shorter, 10-15 minutes. The scenes are breathtaking. You can see old and new Jerusalem, East and West. Jerusalem is immensely beautiful.

We visited the burial place of Jesus at the Church of the Holy Church of the Holy Sepulchre. Sepulchre means a small room or monument, cut in rock or built of stone, in which a dead person is laid or buried. A nun stands at the front of the small room that allows 3-4 people at a time. She monitors the entrance. No taking photos is allowed. It is a special place. Christians who live in Jerusalem are very fortunate to have this church nearby.

We went to the Muslim Quarter on Friday. Nowadays, the Quarter is quiet as tourists prefer Paris and London. But not on early noon Friday. Suddenly, the narrow streets became crowded with thousands of men returning from Friday prayer at the Haram al-Shariff. We quickly moved away from the tide.

Whoever thinks it is possible to separate the quarters, installing Israeli sovereignty over the Jewish and Armenian Quarters, and Palestinian sovereignty over the Muslim and Christian Quarters, needs to visit the Old City and see how impractical solution this is. The quarters mesh and are inseparable.

***

Sulha means making peace. It is a meeting between Israeli Jews and Palestinians from the Occupied Territories. I went to such an event at a location at the Dead Sea. I feared that I would find myself with plenty of Jews and very few Palestinians, as this was my previous experience of such meetings. But this was not the case. There were some 90 people in this gathering, Jews and Palestinians of an equal number.

The event began with coffee, Jerusalem bagels, hand-made hummus and labneh. Subsequently, representatives of the three religions lit candles of light and peace. This was followed by the drumming of a song about human brotherhood. Then we were divided into small groups. Each participant told their names, why they arrived at the Sulha, what brings them joy, and what is the solution to the conflict. Husband and wife from Hebron said that they want a one state solution because according to them the situation before the Palestinian Authority (PA) took control was good. The PA is corrupt and the situation has deteriorated since the mid-1990s. They said they are deeply disturbed by the Israeli roadblocks and checkpoints that harass their lives.

I spoke with Ahmed, a primary school teacher from a village near Hebron. Ahmed mentioned Ahmed Sadat and Marwan Barghouti as possible successors to Abu Mazen. None of the people I spoke to trusted Abu Mazen. They are looking for the post-Abu Mazen era. Ahmed said the only solution is peace: a two-state solution. Presently, people are angry about what Israel does in Gaza. But people want a good future for their children. They want peace.

Ahmed thinks that Hamas treats the Israeli hostages well and that more hostages were killed by the IDF than by Hamas “soldiers”.

One participant was invited to tell his story. He spoke of his journey from a person who believed in terror to being a peace activist. He said he lost 70 family members in Gaza. After lunch, two other participants told their stories, an Israeli Jew and a Palestinian who are fighting for justice and equality.

A wide circle was arranged and participants were invited to say what each one was willing to do to change reality for the better. A few participants rose and shared their views. The gathering ended with signing and drumming.

***

Aharon Barak lost his wife and friend for many years and I went to console him. Many people sat in the garden and talked. I was asked what do I do. When they heard that I am writing a book about resolving the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, people offered their views. One (secular) man said that at the hospital he saw a young Arab patient who was running the corridors and cursing the Jews. One Jewish woman, also a patient, embarked on a conversation with the boy and asked him: “Are you receiving good treatment here?” “Yes”, replied the boy. “So why do you curse the people who treat you?” “This does not matter”, replied the boy. “I still do not like you. You took my land”.

Another participant at the Shivah, a religious man, said: “You are not going to like what I am about to tell you in this liberal environment. In Genesis 21, there is a story of Sarah and Abraham. Sarah demanded Abraham, ‘Get rid of that slave woman and her son. He is not going to share the inheritance with my son, Isaac. I won’t have it!’ This upset Abraham very much because Ishmael was his son. But God told Abraham, ‘Do not be upset over the boy and your servant. Do whatever Sarah tells you’. From this we learn that Jews and Arabs are destined to be enemies forever. There is no solution. We will continue to fight each other”.

What are the lessons from these two comments? First, education is a key to bringing about change. Both Arabs and Jews must re-evaluate their curricula and change them to curricula of peace and reconciliation. If the education system continues to spout hatred and distrust, children will grow to hate and pursue violence as a way of life.

Second, it is sad that thousands of years after the Torah was written, Orthodox Jews read it as a guide for current affairs. Very few women like the children of their husbands’ mistresses, notwithstanding their religion. To interpret the Biblical story as saying that Muslims and Jews are doomed to fight for generations is sad and depressing.

***

I invited Itzik Mordechai for lunch at IIAS. I wanted to interview him about his role in the SHABAC Affair, which I considered the most problematic episode in the history of Israel. Until 2023. Now I consider it to be the third most problematic episode after the attempt to undermine Israeli democracy and the 7 October Hamas attack.

We had a pleasant lunch and then went to my office. We sat for about two hours. Mordechai spoke candidly about his ordeal. Clearly, the sabotage that SHABAC did to implicate him in the murder of the two terrorists left a deep scar on him. I felt his genuine trauma and pain.

I want to arrange a meeting between him and Yitzhak Zamir, who served as the Legal Advisor to the Government at the time of the traumatic affair. Mordechai has agreed to such a meeting. Now I need to convince Zamir.

***

I went with three friends to the south of Israel. The Negev. Arava. The Dead Sea and the Judea Desert. The south is so different from the north of Israel. Each region has its distinct beauty. For the first time, I crossed the Judea Desert in a car. Twenty kilometres of very rough terrain. There is no paved road and one needs a sturdy 4×4 car to pass through it. Whoever made this road was not a perfectionist. Rough curves and differences in height make the driving adventurous, if not dangerous. At some point, I feared the car would roll over. Luckily, Ofer and Guy are excellent drivers who have passed through the desert before. I wish the Israeli government would allocate funding to make this road less challenging. One is allowed to dream…

***

I try to attend Friday prayer in nearby synagogues. I tried three synagogues until now. The first is a reform synagogue, where I feel at home and have a relationship with the rabbi. The second is an egalitarian-progressive synagogue where the singing is beautiful, and the rabba is an exceptional woman. The third I found strange. Women participate in leading the prayers; yet men and women are separated by a thin curtain. In Jerusalem, one can find a synagogue for every taste.

***

During the first few weeks in Israel, I was impressed with the transportation application and the timetable. In England, sometimes there is no connection between the so-called GPS system and the actual arrival time of the bus. The East Riding Bus Company received so many complaints that they simply closed the customer service department. A wonderful way to deal with complaints (in Washington DC, Verizon did the same thing). But my commendation of the Eged buses in Israel was premature. In that respect, I feel like in England. Age of uncertainty. The App tells you one thing, the bus notice board another thing, and the bus itself sometimes arrives, sometimes it does not. Frustrating. Twice I waited for an hour for a bus that was scheduled to arrive within 3 minutes. Terrible service.

***

The Hebrew word for the coffee sleeve is embracer. Cute.