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Salita Dsouza

Talking the talk

Conversations over coffee

Most answers to life’s questions will generally and majorly come from conversations. You ask how? Your decision to propose your girlfriend arose after having that heart to heart conversation with your bro or you decided to buy the strawberry cheesecake after that mind banter of should or should nots. We “converse” much more often than we think. Whether we’re thinking to ourselves, choosing a holiday destination, or making important decisions, we’re engaging in conversations — often subconsciously, but engaging nonetheless. Conversations and dialogue string words together to convey our deepest thoughts and feelings.

I’m a fan of conversations, the least to say. Every time two persons engage in an exchange of words, I’m intrigued. It goes beyond just being a subject of interest. Besides spending way too much time on the whys and how’s, it is also one of my most trusted philosophies, favourite debate topic, an attribute people should develop and my tinder bio too.

A friend once told me, “Conversations are how we become ajar to the world of others, it is who we are”. After all, it makes us more socially nourished and feed our evolutionary need to connect.

It also gives you the ability to know another human, their core selves, flaws and all. While most still think it’s a blessing that the Gods bestowed upon only a selected few, it is essentially like a sport or a muscle: the more you work it, the better it gets.

Here are my two cents. Thoughts below courtesy- internet, books read and drawn personal experiences.

If you’re a significant other

In most successful marriages or relationships, the rule of thumb has always been to listen more than you talk. That doesn’t mean you don’t communicate your needs. Rather, focus on being a listener and it’s a win-win for both partners. Treat conversations as an opportunity for adventure and discovery and they truly will become just that.

If you’re a parent

Parents, sure it gives you some free time but limit your child’s screen time. Where else are they supposed to learn healthy communication and dialogue from?

Especially, as our adult world is full of chatter, information and noise; Instilling in your kids the art of having real talks will go a long way. You could explore an array: Breaking the ice, talking about emotions, voicing opinions and even simply just the exercise of freely discussing your mind will equip them to dive ready into the world.

If you’re a friend

Friends are priceless. In my opinion, the ability to have free flowing yet logic less conversations stay the privilege of friends. No other relationships technically can hold the ease for both, deep talks and useless banter.

If you’re an individual (basically anybody)

Smile, it makes the world a kinder place. It also automatically makes the opposite person a little more interested in what you have to say.

Once in a while move from small talk to real conversation. Dig deeper to make a connection.

If you’re someone who has power.

Like the famous saying goes, “With great power comes great responsibility” Use your power to have conversations that matter. Conversations that are necessary and one’s that add value to the world.

To conclude, I’d like to quote this line I recently read and has stayed, “A real conversation always contains an invitation. You are inviting another person to reveal herself or himself to you, to tell you who they are or what they want.” –David Whyte

About the Author
Yoga instructor, free thinker, wordsmith, people lover, observer, humane.
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