Teachers Grief: The Hidden Mourning on Israel’s Memorial Day 2025

This year’s Memorial Day for Fallen Soldiers and Victims of Hostilities (2025/5785) brought to light a deeply personal aspect of this solemn occasion – the unique grief experienced by teachers who have lost students in Israel’s wars and terrorist attacks.

Before moving to the United States 16 years ago, I taught at Eldad High School in Netanya, where I served as a homeroom teacher and taught Arabic, Hebrew language, and Hebrew composition. Though physically distant now, the emotional connection to my former students remains undiminished by time or place. 

Several months ago, my close friend Hagit, the literature coordinator and teacher, at Eldad high school, sent me information about a special anthology being created – “וְנָכוֹן, אֵינִי אִמְּךָ” (“And Indeed, I Am Not Your Mother”) – dedicated to what the editors called “teachers grief.” I immediately knew I wanted to submit the poems I had written in memory of my two former students who fell while serving their country.

When I received an email from Rachel Harel and Nadavi Noked, the anthology’s editors who are both teachers at the Ort Yad Leibovitz School in Netanya, informing me that one of my poems would be included in their anthology, chills ran through my body and tears welled in my eyes.  Since the loss of my students in Israel’s wars, I’ve commemorated them annually by lighting virtual candles on the Yizkor website, sharing my poetry online, and speaking of them to each new group of adult students that I teach. 

My poem appears on page 59 in the anthology was inspired by the Israeli composer Naomi Shemer’s 1966 memorial song, “We Are Both from the Same Village” (Hebrew: אֲנַחְנוּ שְׁנֵינוּ מֵאוֹתוֹ הַכְּפָר, Anachnu Shnaynu Meoto Hakfar). 

The complete anthology is in Hebrew, but AI language models can help translate any song. While the translation might not be perfectly accurate and could be considered a disservice to the original, it will convey the song’s main idea. It’s worth the effort, I promise you. 

Roni Turgeman-Paris’s poem, “A Longing Poem for Sivan” inspired the anthology’s title and deeply resonated with me. It beautifully encapsulates the intricate connection between teachers and students—a relationship as profound as family, yet defined by the awareness that we are not their parents. This “transparent grief,” often unspoken in public discussions of loss, describes the unique mourning experienced by educators.

Within the pages of this collection, I found poems written from places of personal pain that I deeply identified with. Each work represents a world unto itself, a window into the soul of educators who choose to continue giving light even from within darkness.

In response to the widespread grief in Israeli society brought on by the events of October 7th, and the ensuing war, I developed a learning module titled “Ways to Commemorate.” This curriculum aims to educate students on various methods of honoring those who have fallen. Students are encouraged to research a specific fallen soldier and devise creative ways to remember them, echoing Samuel David Luzzatto’s sentiment that “Memory is what sustains a person in the land of the living.”

This learning module, which I’ve shared with numerous Hebrew teachers globally, enables students of Hebrew to learn about fallen soldiers, and victims of terrorism, and value their contribution to Israel’s security. This pedagogical method fosters a connection with Israel’s history and an understanding of the significant sacrifices made by these young men and women.

This past Memorial Day, I once again lit commemorative candles for Staff Sergeant Alex (Sasha) Bonimovich z”l and Captain Liran Adir (Edri) z”l, my two beloved former students. During the final day of the Second Lebanon War (מִלְחֶמֶת לְבָנוֹן הַשְּׁנִיָּה, Milhemet Levanon HaShniya), on Saturday, August 12, 2006, nineteen-year-old Alex was killed in combat in the eastern sector, in the Hirbat Kassif area, Alex’s tank was struck by a Hezbollah missile during a rescue operation. The detonation of the ammunition inside the tank resulted in the immediate deaths of all four soldiers within. Liran, age 31, a soldier in the Barak Armored Brigade, was killed by mortar fire near the Gaza border on July 31, 2014, during Operation Protective Edge (מִבְצָע צוּק אֵיתָן, Miv’tza Tzuk Eitan). The two of them, like others, made the ultimate sacrifice for Israel, leaving their families in perpetual mourning. We, their teachers, will always remember them with pride tempered by deep sadness. 

While the grief of teachers on Israel’s Memorial Day does not, and should not, receive the same public attention as that of bereaved families, it is nonetheless real and profound. Educators, who dedicate themselves to preparing students for the future, sometimes face the heartbreaking reality of commemorating their lives instead. This anthology offers an outlet for this distinct sorrow, fostering a supportive community for teachers who share this unique form of mourning.

One day, hopefully, there won’t be a need for collections of poems about such loss. Until that day arrives, let us continue to speak of, write about, and remember those whom we have lost.

May the memory of all the fallen be a blessing. May all 59 hostages, living and deceased, be released now!

May we know no more sorrow.

Orly

Here is a Link to the anthology: 

Here is a link to listen to Naomi Shemer’s song אנחנו שנינו מאותו הכפר We are both from the same village 

Here you can read more about Alex z”l 

Here you can read more about Liran z”l: Israel’s fallen in Operation Protective Edge By: ToI Staff23 July 2014, 11:59 pm, The time of Israel 

*Samuel David Luzzatto (abbreviated as ShaDaL, in Italian: Samuele Davide Luzzatto; August 22, 1800 – September 30, 1865) was a Bible commentator, Hebrew linguist, poet, philosopher, literary researcher, and translator. He was a figure in the Jewish Enlightenment movement, one of the first scholars of Jewish Studies, and head of the Rabbinical Seminary in Padua, Italy.

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