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That Monster Over There

I am not a sexual predator. Neither are you. There are no sexual predators. There are only people — whose predatory actions you do not see, even when they are in plain view.

We don’t believe in monsters. If she isn’t screaming then there must be no monster. If she waits until afterwards to scream, it is only out of regret. But hey, baby, we all do things we regret. You’re not special. And don’t try to get 15 minutes of fame by crying victim.

We don’t believe in victims. This is America. Nobody here is a victim. There are only dreams, and people who are either too lazy to achieve them — or who take responsibility for themselves and become successful.

There are no victims, and there are no perpetrators. Well, except for people who don’t look like us. People who don’t look like us are downtrodden and need our help, otherwise they become the monsters that stalk the night, waiting to eat us alive with their gang banging.

But if you look like me, then you cannot be a perpetrator, and you certainly cannot cry victim. We are a privileged bunch, superior to all other bunches. We are the chosen bunch.

Now dust yourself off sweetie, and come to the table for dinner. The rabbi is here.

About the Author
The opinions expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not represent the views of any organization that she is affiliated with. Sarah Ruth Hoffman was a doctoral student at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill when an older male rabbi (now suspended by his rabbinical association) groomed, raped, and abused her. She has since completed the PhD and converted to Orthodox Judaism. She continues to write as part of her healing, and she often writes what she would have found comforting and useful to read during her lengthy exodus from the ongoing sexual violence that was inextricably linked to roles and scripts in Jewish institutions. She hopes that this blog will help the public to understand the dynamics of clergy sexual abuse, whether the victims are adults, or children. Much of what is written can apply to non-clergy relationships as well. If any one person is helped by any of what is written, then the purpose of this blog has been fulfilled.
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