The art of bowing out

The art of bowing out. Make no mistake – it is an art. Starting the next chapter of your life is an emotional moment that can resonate with many people around you. The way you decide to bow out is going to leave an imprint on them. On some people, anyway, some won’t even remember you in a week.

When’s the best time to bow out and start a new chapter? Well, when one chapter is not going to give you more benefits and joy or when it’s draining you, financially, energetically, or otherwise. There comes a time when you conclude – by cold calculation – that it’s time to move on to better opportunities because you don’t get enough return on your investment as it is and a better opportunity is on the horizon. If that opportunity is a solid one – grab it and don’t think twice.

Maybe you had a great relationship with your boss and your new boss is crap? Things happen. You need to be ready for these things. We’re talking about grand geopolitical scenarios but we need to have plans for our personal, on the ground, here and now, scenarios and contingencies.

Do you announce your departure plans to others? All depends on your aims and objectives. If you find a better job offer, it’s best not to share it with others. Well, maybe a select group of people but be careful about this. People are envious and they might congratulate you through gritted teeth, but deep down, they’ll hate you for having better opportunities and try to sabotage you behind your back or in your face.

They say there are no friends at work, and I agree, but it’s best not to show others what you really think about them. Pretend to be friendly, even when they get on your nerves. Smile. Downplay your achievements on occasion to make others feel ”bigger and better.” That way, they won’t see you as a threat and will keep their guard down around you. Small talk works wonders and it’s safe because it steers attention away from serious topics that others at work have no business knowing about you. Sometimes, totally illogical and random things can give you a headstart. Maybe someone likes your name? Or you remind them of someone?

Do your job and plan ahead. Don’t get involved in office politics as much as you can. Authenticity? Idealistic nonsense. Have no qualms about leaving when it’s a planned strategy. People at work, with honorable exceptions, aren’t looking out for your best interest and are going to forget about you in a week. Some would say that’s sociopath thinking. Well, whatever, good luck being always authentic, then, see where that gets you. My guess is – you’re going to be authentically fired.

It’s best to announce your departure when every piece of the puzzle is in place and you know everything is ready for your next chapter. Be it at work or in life, just inform people when you’re ready. When they can no longer stop the process of your bowing out. At that point, their opinions are just that – their opinions. When you set everything up for your next chapter, unless they have financial sway over you, just move on to the next chapter.

Now, some people like to quit their jobs or start the next chapter of their lives with a (sometimes literal) bang. That’s a risky strategy, but can be fun. Some employers deserve to be told what you think about them when you’re on your way out. Even if your, soon-to-be-ex employer, smiles scornfully, it was cathartic for you.

Do you burn bridges? Logically, it isn’t a good idea. Actually, sometimes, it’s a great idea – especially when you’re dealing with a psychopath or other energetic vampire who just wants to suck you into a black hole. There’s no reasoning with these people. They want your energy, your supply, and they don’t care about you otherwise. Cut contact with them and don’t respond to their attempts to get back into your life. These people truly are irredeemable, they never change, and re-establishing ties is only going to hurt you. They can be really convincing that they’ve changed – don’t believe them. No reversals, so make sure you don’t burn bridges, unless someone really has no place in your life ever again.

Also, don’t assume you know who’s who in your new place of work – if you don’t know the hierarchy, observe and learn, don’t play boss when you’re the newbie. At times, the hierachies are informal and being rude to some seemingly low-rank employee can result in you being fired because, it so happens, the low-ranking employee is actually friends with the CEO.

Observe and learn, and leave that cocksure swagger for later when you’re actually well-versed in what’s going on.

Don’t underestimate your enemies, unless they are truly defeated, and their name dishonored. Just because someone seems harmless, doesn’t mean they are. Case in point, there was an axe attack here at the University of Warsaw a week or so ago. A woman was killed and a security guard seriously wounded. I won’t mention the details. Turns out, a bright, unassuming student of law is the perpetrator.

Things aren’t always what they seem, be it in our lives or geopolitics.