The Biggest Misunderstanding about Kidney Donation
My family is incredibly fortunate. As we approach my father’s 2nd yahrzeit, I am reminded that he was blessed to have received a kidney transplant from a live donor. After years of progressively worsening kidney function, and enduring great suffering while on dialysis, he was able to spend his last almost two years with no need for dialysis. I was inspired by the generosity of many people who helped our family along the way, especially my father’s kidney donor, and also doctors and other healthcare providers, rabbis, staff of several communal organizations, community members, family, and friends. And I learned a lot of very practical information, which I want to share with others who may face the same situation themselves or with a loved one.
It is a popular misconception that the only way to receive a live transplant is by seeking a match – someone whose kidney is close enough biologically to be physically transplanted into the recipient. The truth is that what is really needed is to find someone who is both willing and healthy enough to donate. This can admittedly be quite challenging to find. To add the requirement that this person must also be a match just makes it even harder – but thankfully, this is not actually required.
While finding a match is ideal, it is not necessary. The reason it is not necessary is because there is an option called paired kidney exchange. If you have a donor who is willing and healthy enough to be approved to donate, even if they are not a match, you or your loved one can participate in a paired kidney exchange. The transplant center will work with a national database to locate another pair (or a series of pairs creating a domino effect) that can match both the intended donor and recipient. In my father’s case, both he and his donor had their surgery in Maryland, the donor in the morning and my father in the evening. The donor’s kidney then was transported by airplane to Georgia while my father’s kidney arrived on a plane from Indiana. In one day, at least four lives were changed for the better.
The reason I think this is so important is because if a potential recipient is fortunate enough to have a potential donor who is not a match, precious time can be wasted looking for a match. In these cases, a paired exchange can be explored.
I also learned going through the process that there are a fair number of remarkable people who are willing to consider kidney donation. While it is difficult to donate, people are more willing to consider donation if they could help someone they feel connected to. In our case, my father’s donor was not someone we knew personally (though we are now friends), but was a friend of a friend who heard about our situation and reached out to us. Others expressed interest along the way as well, for which we are so grateful. In fact, a friend who only offered to be tested because of my father was contacted after initiating the process and told he was a perfect match for another candidate, and eventually successfully donated his kidney. The takeaway from this is that you should search for donors among people that you know personally or have some connection to.
A remarkable irony is that both my father and his donor have the same Hebrew first name – Yisrael (Israel). As a friend pointed out, this gave new meaning to the phrase that “Kol Yisrael Areivim Zeh Ba-Zeh” – that Jews all have a responsibility for each other. My father’s donor Yisrael demonstrated incredible altruism and willingness to take responsibility for someone else in need, and I am hopeful that his gift will inspire others to consider donation as well.
I wish everyone in need of this information much success in your journey ahead.
