The December Dilemma

Many years ago, while I was working with parents and children on Hadassah’s Al Galgalim/Training Wheels program, I came across an article in the Chanukah unit called “The December Dilemma.”

Although I don’t remember much about it, the title comes to mind each year as I interpret how a Jewish household like ours navigates Chanukah, as well as December 25 and the days leading up to it.

As a small child, I remember the only spot in town that gave recognition to Chanukah was the window at the public library. My first-grade rough drawing of Santa won me the privilege to use the flesh-toned paper to draw Santa’s face for the class bulletin board, while my circa third-grade menorah art couldn’t be displayed before the teacher covered up the Star of David on my design. It was confusing but, ultimately, I accepted this as part of the realities of a secular and Jewish life.

As an adult, I remember that while the young families among us were buying candy canes, my husband and I searched for chocolate gelt (Yiddish for money) – another acknowledgement of different holidays, different symbols.

However, my husband and I admired how our young kids were able to make the holiday season clear and easy to define by innocently labeling their classmates according to celebration: “He celebrates Christmas” or “She celebrates Chanukah.” A generation later, it was never an assessment, just a statement of fact.

I believe that my evolving interpretation of the “December Dilemma” is not for everyone because I see it as a kind of learning in perpetual progress. There are still corrections and adjustments to be made, right down to the craft class where the materials supplied were mostly in Christmas patterns and colors when these weren’t applicable for all students attending. Or the greeting card store that found it amusing to place Chinese food container ornaments on a Christmas tree and a Jewish star on the top.

Perhaps a suggestion to atone for tone deafness among us all is to take a step back and care enough to check holiday accuracy with those who actually celebrate. Ask questions, share knowledge and figuratively “read the room.” No group needs special treatment, but if we can remember to be open to learning about others and respecting the collective symbolism all religions enjoy, we can contribute to a better way for all to celebrate.

Hadassah stands for Jewish values and traditions. Hadassah also stands up for women’s empowerment and leadership, and, therefore, strongly supports the role of Jewish woman as keepers of the flame of Jewish values, traditions and beliefs. I am proud to be a life member of a national organization with such a noble purpose.

Lauren is a member of the Hadassah Writers’ Circle, a dynamic and diverse writing group for leaders and members to express their thoughts and feelings about all the things Hadassah does to make the world a better place, to celebrate their personal Hadassah journeys and to share their Jewish values, family traditions and interpretations of Jewish texts.  Since 2019, the Hadassah Writers’ Circle has published nearly 450 columns in the Times of Israel Blog and other Jewish media outlets. Interested? Please contact hwc@hadassah.org.