The Eternal Jew’s Tale, #147, Batkol’s Journal, 3

In this episode, Lilah tells Joseph’s version of what transpired with Potiphar’s wife, as well as between Tamar and Judah.
Warning: there is some crude and sexual language in this episode.

The Eternal Jew’s Tale
Nineteenth Era, Part 4, ~1425 C.E., back in Genoa
Batkol’s Journal, part 3
The Lesser Yikhud,* hidden midrash in Nashim**

* Hebrew: union, divine or human; Kabbalistic term
** one of the 6 orders of Talmud

“Anyways, that’s how Joseph taled it, tho what he seen been shape by the fack that his own opinions of women were mean. To him, a woman be nothin’ more than a cook and cleaner as deal with the kids, and the only time they should open their mouth be to answer him or {deleted}. His female spirits be stunted and sick, and it stuntin’ the rest of him soul, the same.

“But he blabbers himself all night long, braggin’ about his many affairs with Egyptian honeys. I ask him once ‘bout that Zuleika* and her false claims that *got him throwed in a dungeony pit*.
* name of Potiphar’s wife, as we learn from Muslim texts and Sefer haYashar
*-* Berraysheet/Gen. 39:7-20

“He just grunted and says,
‘Oh, her. Two stone of make-up and a pebble brain.’

“But Zuleika has ear in the spirit world, as befittin’ a queen over dynasties in the lesser sephirah within Malkhut**. She joint me once on a starry walk thru the Pleiades, the door to Malkhut, and told me about that Joseph affair.
** lowest sephirah in the kabbalistic system of divine emanations

“‘Bellying me for months, he did, till I got bored with his ‘howdy do’ and a minute later he was done, leaving me feeling slimy {deleted phrase}. What could I do to arouse him? {deleted phrase} And then he found some servant twat, cute and always {wantin’} him. I found them {in bed} and I snatched his robe and told Potiphar he was hitting on me. And I didn’t miss him. Not very much. He wasn’t that good. All he wanted was to flirt a little and sate himself. As for affection, he had none. He never really pleased me well.’

“That side of Joseph Torah don’t reveal, and the sages dasn’t turn it and stretch it that way. He been held as some kind a paragon. Oh, but get this! Here’s another one — Tamar* — which Judah confessed to him. He taled me this story a half dozen times, laughin’ his ass off how Judah {messed} up.
* her story is Berraysheet/Gen. 38

“‘Judah was a bastard most of his days, playin’ everyone to serve his needs, while makin’ a show with his moral airs. One day I come down to his little hut by a putrid canal in Goshen’s fields. Only reason I ever gone there is, my boys like to dirty themselves with his brats. We sat there eatin’ lunch on the grass, pickin’ the meat off some bony perch and gnawin’ on roasted garlic and leek, peasant food if ever there was. And here comes Tamar with her specialty, sweet dough cookies with coconut. Asnat* wouldn’t feed such bricks to a slave. After she leaves, he turns to me,
* Joseph’s wife

“‘‘She’s a fine woman, strong and straight. I gave her as wife to my first born, Er*, but he died when a plague trampled the land. Childless she were, so my second son, *Onan I called on to give Er a son*, but he too died, fell from a roof. And there be Tamar alive and well. When she asked for Shelah, my third, I says,
‘Wait till he’s older,’ but really I’m thinkin’
‘She’s barren; don’t waste him on her.’
But deeper still my gut been gripped by a terror that she’s a devil child, teeth in her womb, man-seed her prey.’
* Beraysheet/Gen. 38:4-6; *-* levirate marriage

“‘And don’t you know, Judah’s own wife dies. That were the work of the Lor, says I, balancin’ scales for the harm he’s done. Anyways, he gone whinin’ on:

“‘‘Some years passed, lonesome and hard. I’m livin’ far from dad and the boys,

‘(They probably kicked the bastard out!)

“‘‘and battered too much to marry again. But the urge {for woman} that don’t die. Springtime, and even I feels reborn, and here’s some street-walker callin’ to me. *And I declare, I took some comfort there*. I wished I could say {we sexed} all night, but she were tender, maybe even shy. Mornin’ come, her face all hid like she were embarrassed at what she did, but she weren’t afraid to ask for her pay.
*-* Simon and Garfunkel, ‘The Boxer’

“‘‘I’ll bring you a kid in about a week, once I’m finished with shearin’ my flock.’
‘And what assurance will you give of that, so you don’t stiff me like your type do.’
So I give her my staff, which were elegant carved, you know, the one with a coilin’ snake for the shaft, and wide open jaws for a crook. I sent her the kid, but she stiffed me! A kid was nothin’. I wanted my staff. A few moons later news come back,
‘Tamar be a slut and is big with child.’

“‘‘Now here were a chance to rid myself of the demon woman that ate up my boys. I demanded she be burnt or stoned, to the elders holdin’ trial on her. That’s when she pulls out my missin’ staff, and there I stand, shocked and confused.
‘What the {hey} is goin’ on?’
until a veil falls away from my eyes: I’m the boner that {caused all this}! Shite. I felt like the whole town watched while I was {in bed with her}, or like I was naked and standin’ there {my privates} danglin’ and bouncin’ around. So I says to the elders that was leerin’ at me,
‘Let the girl go. She’s innocent, and me, my duty is now fulfilled to her, which all these years I withheld. I’m the levirate seed for my boy.’

‘And there she stand, and I’m expectin’ her to scowl out her hatred and bitterness. But no. Tender and shy she look. For the first time since my wife been dead I felt affection and tenderness too. I begun to visit her day by day. As her time approached I asked her to move back to Khevron to live with me, among the families of Jacob’s clan. And this she did. And now, behold her beauty and kindness, her gentle poise.’

“‘He told me this, all innocent-like, while he’s {sleepin’ with} his daughter-in-law. Shite. What a {deleted} asshole he is.’”

~~~~~~~~~~

In the next episode, the story of how Batkol first met Reina.