The Eternal Jew’s Tale, #154, Batkol’s Journal, 10

In this episode, tumbling thru worlds.
Warning: this episode makes mention of sexual acts.

The Eternal Jew’s Tale
Nineteenth Era, Part 5, ~1425 C.E., back in Genoa
Batkol’s Journal, part 10
The Lesser Yikhud,* The Sorceries of Lilah bat Eve

* Hebrew: union, merging, divine or human

Startled. A grunt beside me in bed.
“Is that you, Saadia Mishan?”

Silence. Is this a demon or pig? Am I dreamin’ all this again? A hand softly touches my arm. His body hesitatin’, slides against my back, my buttocks, my legs, snuggles into the curves of me as I lie on my side. I hold my breath. All his desire swellin’ my breast like a fire ragin’ across a field, the burnin’ of him into the burnin’ of me.

“Saadia, how did you find me here?”

His fingers run thru my curly hair and touch my button.
“Oh don’t stop.”
His lips light on the back of my neck, his hard-on throbbin’ against my back. I rock my pelvis into his touch.

“Gomer*, Gomer, why pursue orgasm without love, union with these animal spirits, revelation that carries no truth, lost in the shadowy *streets of night*. Gomer, Babylon, this warp of light.”
* Hosea 1:2-3
*-* L.A. Woman, The Doors

“Where am I? Who am I? Is this my husband or Belial?”

I push away from his khashmal* touch, enveloped in darkness, passion, sin.
* from Ezekiel 1 and 8 and Chagigah 13a;
Kabbalistic meaning: angelic; modern: electric

I rise and look in a black mirror. Lilah I see. I, Batkol.

Dawn light. The air befouled with smoke. Am I asleep. Am I awake? There she sits still hummin’ her psalm, still tyin’ her smudges, still weavin’ her webs. Hazy, distorted, this smoky room.

Now she’s bent over a tiny siddur*, rockin’ back and forth recitin’ prayers. I can’t focus, just blurry shapes as she stands and sidles over to me.
* prayerbook

“*Oh where have you been, my blur eyed wife and what have you seen, oh love of my life*?”
*-* Hard Rain’s a-Gonna Fall, Dylan

And like I never left Genoa’s streets, I answer Saadia all raw and exposed,
“I danced with angels all earthy and wild, and they ravished me and left me befouled, and yet I would spread my legs again to have another orgasm with them.”

Genoa. How did I make my way home? I don’t remember a single step. I stop at an oven to buy a loaf and begin the long trudge up the slope.

Then I see Saadia in a grove of trees. I rush up the path, but where has he gone? There! Tangled in undergrowth. Be he searchin’ for me? Be he runnin’ away?
“Saadia! Come back. Don’t leave me here.”
He turns around. Such angry eyes. I’m a-feared to take another step.

Where am I now? Lost and alone. Yet somehow this room is familiar to me. A moment ago Saadia sat across the table glarin’ at me. But now it’s that winged angelman.

Howl of the wind from the mountain tops, rumblin’ thru branches like ocean surf with its crash and hiss and frothy sigh. And deep within like the privy room of a king where affairs of state are discussed, I can hear angels singin’ psalms and praisin’ the Lor from here, by my side, to the nether curves of the universe.

“There you sit, big with child, wild seed planted in your fields, and now returnt to your true home, impoverished, my Gomer wife, to bring your child into this world. Bride of sorrow, unbridled child bound in the fragile fringes of the Lor. Will they be hold or will they be tore?”

Slant sunlight pours in the door. I remember moments with Saadia here; his touch like khashmal was holy, was sin. The howlin’ of wind, the howlin’ of wolves, Lilah singin’ infernal psalms. I thought I were pregnant, I were so full of dread.

Again she poisoned me with her herbs that rend the boundaries the Lor has drawn. Not a sip or bite will pass my lips, nor a breath of smudge till I escape while she’s out collectin’ her infernal plants.

I stand up. Nausea and dizziness. I have to squat, head between knees. Dry heaves. I lie back down. The room is vortexin’ into me. If I can’t escape, I’ll kill that witch. I crawl to the bench by the fireplace, grab a knife, crawl back to my straw.

Knock on the door. Another knock. The door creaks open. A hesitant voice…

~~~~~~~~~~

In the next episode, a wild bear.