The Eternal Jew’s Tale, #188, Noah’s tale, 5

In this episode, a Purim spiel! {Warning: this episode contains rude language.}

The Eternal Jew’s Tale
Twenty Second Era, Part4, Constantinople
1504 C.E., 5264 from Adam

Time shuffles the days. It seems a week has passed. Or is it a year? No, it’s a decade rolled over us, and folded us in its invisible paws.

The year be fifty two sixty four, or fifteen o-four by Julian’s count, or nine o-nine from Muhammed’s flight, ninth of March, fifteenth Adar, twenty first of Ramadan. Whatever you call it, it brung relief from winter’s frigid winds and snow. Inside our houses water froze in the pitchers sittin’ next to walls. The wealthy bought up all the wood so us poor folk lived with chatterin’ teeth and chilblains scarrin’ our arms and legs. Many a night the synagogue, with its fired up stove and steamin’ tea, been packed with families sleepin’ there. Now the radiant sun shines down its gifts, which come from above to restore our souls. And ain’t that right and appropriate since tonight we’re reading Esther’s Book* and celebratin’ in costume and skit.
* for Purim

Left the kahal*, full moon risin’ above the house tops, castin’ its spell like the half-light of a theater. Batkol and me strollin’ the streets, chatter and laughter, music and crowds to celebrate Purim and Ramadan. Deeper into the city’s maze harsher the laughter, rougher the crowd, young toughs sportin’ brass knuckles and knives, whiffs of hashish and opium. And now some guy be pushin’ us into a covered bazaar, a warren of nooks. In that one, gamblers playin’ cards, the rancid smell of sweat and beer; this one, prostitutes hardly dressed; another, the fragrance, nutty and sweet, of opium smoke waftin’ out. Perhaps its powers have swallowed us up. Everything seems so dreamy and strange. Now look! Puppets on a little stage.
* local Jewish community sector

Stunned, we see a sign on the stage in Hebrew and Turkish; “Shushan*” it says. Here in Constantinople’s crotch, could this be a Purim puppet show? The alcove be crowded, people crammed shoulder to shoulder at table and chair, smokin’ hashish, drinkin’ wine, laughter and hootin’, whistle and jeer, when up on stage a puppet appears and quickly the crowd muffles down….
* city where events in Book of Esther take place

“I’m Mordekhai, a most righteous Jew to tell you what you never knew. Truth and wisdom I’ll sermonize to all you simple gals and guys….”

At this the crowd comes alive with groggers* and booin’ and loud guffaws. But Mordekhai continues louder still….
* Purim noisemakers normally only used when Haman is mentioned, but there is a tradition…

“Shame on you, you ratty cows, stuck in your ways, corrupt and foul. This world be a battleground of wills; on one side evil demon mills grind souls to worthless dust; on the other…

Off-stage someone interrupts…

“…an angel full of lust!”

And now a prancin’ man appears, and throws a noose around the neck of Mordekhai, and drags him back and forth across the stage, ranting…

“You pompous, big mouth dunce, shut your fuckin’ hole for once so we can rampage uncontrolled with sex and drugs and wreckin’ poles. What you need is an airin’ out!”

With that, he throws the rope around the branch of a tree and tries to hang Mordekhai, but the rope breaks, and Mordekhai scampers off-stage appalled and bellowing bloody murder, the while.

Now here comes a puppet lewdly dressed with a see-thru top and hips a-sway. She waves her hand and gaily calls,

“Yo there Haman, what ya doin’ out here?”
“Hey queenie, I’m havin’ me a good old time kickin’ the ass of that Mordekhai.”
“Hey man, I know some better fun.”
“What’s better than that? Play your hand.”
“Come up to my room and you’ll find out!”
“Oh yeah, oh yeah, I’m all in.”

As they sashay off-stage Esther winks, first to the crowd to loud uproar; then Mordekhai sticks his head on-stage and she winks to him and whispers, ‘follow me.’”

Now, as Esther and Haman march back and forth the backdrop quickly changes scenes; first the palace and its open gate; then the walls of a long corridor; then the queen’s bedroom with a giant bed piled with pillows and leopard skin throws. Now Esther jiggles and wiggles herself, and says,

“Hey man, what’s in your pants? Is that a banana or you likin’ me?”

Haman leers and says to the crowd,

“Today her bed, tomorrow the throne.”

He croons and strips off all of his clothes and leaps on the bed where Esther waits. Then Mordekhai, from under the bed, jumps up holdin’ a rope with a noose, throws it around Haman’s neck, and he and Esther lift Haman and throw him off the front of the stage where he dangles and dances until he’s dead. Esther and Mordekhai bow and depart to loud and raucous shouts and cheers.

Then from behind the little stage the puppeteer comes and takes a bow with many thank you’s and blessings to all, and above the din announces thus:

“Please don’t go. For my next show I’ve created characters never before seen on stage during Ramadan.”

And he sprightly skips back behind stage.

While he perpares the next act, a young man strums his oud and sings bawdy, rude, and raucous songs. Meanwhile, Batkol be yankin’ my sleeve. I assume she wants to get out of here, but no, she’s pointin’ at the puppeteer.

“That puppeteer, we seen him before. I can’t place him, but I know him, sure.”

She’s right. His voice be familiar too, but I can’t connect a name to the face.

And now the oud player ends his song with an obscene flourish and makes this announcement:

“And now you buckoes and sweet little birds I’d like to interduce you to the one and only Karagoz, the wildest and craziest Turk in town, and some of his friends and ruffians that live in the greatest city on earth, Constantinople, jewel of the world.”

~~~~~~~~~~

In the next episode, welcome to the origins of Karagoz, Turkish puppet/shadow theater.