The golden era of USB schlock

Have you ever wondered what kind of research and development they do at a ketchup company? Heinz, that high tech company from Pittsburgh, has invented the world’s first USB microwave. The condiment marketing wizards call it the Beanzawave as it specializes in microwaving a can of beans from your desk via your USB port.

USB Refrigerator

But that’s not all! For $20-$35, you can be the proud owner of a USB refrigerator. I couldn’t resist the temptation and bought one last year. I put my bottle of Neviot Mineral Water inside and it slows down the heating process by about 3 seconds.

Kenny’s USB Refrigerator

Slick USB Technology

When it arrived in the mail, my mind was racing. How about a USB cup warmer? For just a $10 investment, I got one with 4 USB ports (so it is actually useful).

If you’re looking to kill a few minutes with a smile, run a search for “weirdest USB gadgets” on Google. Here’s what I came up with..

USB Fan

Perfect for the scorching hot summer months in Israel, the USB fan doubles as a conversation piece. “What the @#$% is that?” “I decided to forgo a 2,000 year mortgage on a 1 bedroom apartment in south Tel Aviv and bought a USB fan.”

USB Feet Warmer

You won’t get far with these covering your feet, and you probably wouldn’t want to be seen with them anyways, but the USB feet warmer is the most ridiculous way to protect your feet from the cold. Maybe next year, as this winter is over.

USB Drum Kit

Ever have the need to hit something hard while at work? The USB drum kit won’t get you an audition to join your favorite rock band, but it looks like a cool stress reliever. 2 drumsticks included.

Someone should create a startup and invent Jewish USB gadgets. Maybe a USB dreidel, USB menorah, or even a USB Shabbos plate. I dream of a USB pizza microwave and a USB electric guitar with a Hiwatt Amp.

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