Andrea Zanardo
Andrea Zanardo
The Zionist Rabbi your friends warned you about

The good Jews on the far-left and their minhagim 

It’s a tradition. Every time that Israel is under attack, Far Left and Islamists take the streets of London to state their belief that — to have peace — the largest Jewish community on Planet Earth, the Israeli population, must perish under the rockets. A contemporary equivalent of human sacrifices: for the sake of peace, obviously, Which may or may not be considered idolatry.

It’s worth considering the various traditions that the Jewish Far Left (which I hasten to add are all good Jews) have developed while Islamists and Far-Left were developing the above-mentioned shared own.

Like every Jewish tradition (I told you, they are good Jews), these traditions originate from a mitzvah, a commandment. For the Far Left, the commandment is: blaming Israel for [the war that triggered so much] antisemitism. Sometimes, it must be said, they forget the text among square brackets, so strong is their emunah, their faith: I told you, they are good Jews.

There are different minhagim, different ways to fulfill this mitzvah. This should not be a surprise; we are talking about Jews, good Jews, very good Jews, did I say it already?

For example, the minhag Yachad. In the past, it was observed by many Jews, also known as “unverified signatures”; but, at the moment, only a few hundred sign for it. The tradition is observed scrupulously; let me remind you that they are good Jews. They carefully avoid any contamination with large groups of protestors against antisemitism. Those who follow such a minhag are persuaded that by keeping the distance from the majority of British Jews, an entity called “Palestinian State” will materialize between Jordan and Israel and bring peace into the world. Their faith is admirable; they are good Jews, after all.

Another minhag is the Minhag Twitter, observed by some pious elderly individuals affiliated with youth organizations. They fulfill the mitzvah of blaming Israel for antisemitism on Twitter, where they blame organization which openly support Israel, or worse, retweet tweets from the Israeli Embassy.

Because these elderly individuals are good Jews (perish the thought of the opposite!) who only care for the good and the truth, they advocate the inclusion in Zionist organizations of antiZionists, non-Zionists, post-Zionists, non-State Zionists, critical Zionists, uneven days Zionists…, and that is because, in the Country of the Guardian and the BBC, these voices are clearly under-represented.

The followers of Minhag Twitter believe -with full and complete faith (they are good Jews, remember!) that, once the praiseworthy goal of aligning the Jewish organizations to the opinions page of the Guardian will be achieved, then the Jewish students will be magically protected against antisemitism.

The most common minhag of the Far Left originates from the Jerusalem Declaration, magically revealed in Jerusalem (indeed) in March 2021 CE.

Adhering to the most strict interpretation of the text — I told you, they are good Jews!- the followers of such a minhag make careful distinctions between the antisemitic wording and the antiZionist intention of statements such as “we will rape your daughters” “the modern days Pharisees are crucifying the Palestinians” and “Adolf Hitler did not finish his job”.

It must be said that every antisemitic statement by the pro-Palestinians is firmly condemned by the followers of the Jerusalem Declaration minhag, during the silent repetition of the Amidah (I told you, they are good Jews, they pray with such devotion!). Then — after having fulfilled the important duty of ritually condemning antisemitism (in silence) — they loudly sing Osseh Shalom etc Good Jews they are. Don’t you dare to say the opposite!

Followers of such a minhag are almost all Ashkenazi and make a point of waving the Palestinian flag as a sign of peace, especially towards those Sephardi and Mizrachi Jews who voluntarily have left their houses in Syria and Irak and gladly have handed their belonging over to self-proclaimed Palestinian refugees. Let me say clearly that such a pious practice proves definitively that the Jews on the Far Left, the non-Zionist Jews, the antiZionist Jews are, beyond any doubt, very good Jews, indeed.

Don’t you dare to think the opposite, you racist! And be careful with your words, you bloodthirsty Zio Nazi, Kahanist and child murderer!

About the Author
Italian by birth, Israeli by choice, Rabbi of the largest synagogue in Sussex (UK). Uncompromising Zionist.
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