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Adam Gross

The Joseph and Judah accords

A bonkers Middle East peace plan arising from a thoroughly inappropriate and sacrilegious daydream 

A daydream from last Shabbat, probably a recycling of waking experiences studying the recent weekly Torah readings about Joseph and his brothers (Genesis 41-47), and the accompanying weekly readings from Prophets (Kings I 3, Ezekiel 37), while following the progress of the tragic war in Gaza.

And the Palestinian Arabs saw the Jews, and recognised them, and made themselves a stranger to them, and spoke to them harshly.

The Palestinian Arabs recognised the Jews but the Jews did not recognize the Palestinian Arabs.

And the Palestinian Arabs said to them: “You are colonisers; you have come to take over our Land.”

And the Jews said to them, “We are all children of one man in this Land. We are not colonisers.”

But the Palestinian Arabs said to them, “No! But you have come to colonise the Land.”

And the Jews said, “We are twelve tribes, the children of one man in this Land, and behold, our Temple is destroyed and the Lost Tribes are gone.”

And the Palestinian Arabs said to them, “This is just what we have spoken to you, saying, ‘You are colonisers.’ With this you shall be tested: if you can defend your place in this Land and at His Holy Mountain, so that your words will be tested whether truth is with you, and if not, you are colonisers.”

Then came the two peoples to the British and stood before them.

And the Jews said, “We Jews and the Palestinian Arabs live together in one Land, and we both have a claim to the Land and to G-d’s Holy Mountain. And our claim to the Land and the Holy Mountain is valid, but they say their claim is valid.”

And the Palestinian Arabs said, “Our claim to the Land and G-d’s Holy Mountain is valid, and the Jews’ claim is invalid.”

And the British scratched their heads, frowned and said, “This one says, ‘this is my Land and not theirs,’ and the other says ‘no, this is my Land and not theirs.'”

And the British said, “Take for us a pen so we might draw a random line on a map,” and a pen was brought before the British.

And the British said, “Divide the Land and the Holy Mountain in two and give one half to the Jews and one half to the Palestinians.”

And the one people said, “Let it be neither mine nor yours, divide it,” and the other people tried to take it all for themselves, and the British said, “Oy va voy, we’re outta here.”

Then after many days, the Jews approached the Palestinian Arabs and said, “You asked, ‘do you worship G-d and did you have a Temple?’ We said, we worship G-d, our Temple was destroyed and our Lost Tribes are gone, we have lost our Land but G-d still loves us. And you said to us, you must defend your place in this Land and at His Holy Mountain, and we prayed to G-d and we have defended our place in this Land and at His Holy Mountain.”

“And yet you wish to destroy us from the Land and from G-d’s Holy Mountain, but we Jews assumed responsibility for it, and if we do not take responsibility, we will have sinned against G-d forever. So now we will stay here and fight, for how will we stand before G-d if we abandon His Holy Mountain. Let us not see the anger of G-d again.”

And the Palestinian Arabs continued the conflict, and called out, “Take all the Jews away from us!”

No one stood with the Palestinian Arabs when they fought with the Jews. And they wept out loud from the conflict, so the whole world heard, and passed many United Nations resolutions.

And finally after many more days, the Palestinian Arabs revealed to the Jews, “We are the Lost Tribes. Will G-d still fulfil his Word?”

But the Jews could not answer because they were startled by the Palestinian Arabs.

And G-d set them all down in Gaza and it was full of bones. And there were very many bones spread over Gaza and they were exceedingly dry.

And the Lord said to the Jews and Palestinian Arabs, “Can these bones live?”

And they replied, “Lord G-d, only you know.”

And the Lord said to the Jews and Palestinian Arabs, say to the bones, “Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord. The Lord G-d will cause the spirit to enter and you shall live. And the Lord will lay sinews upon the bones, and make flesh grow over them, and skin cover them, and put breath into them, and they shall live and will know that He is the Lord.”

So the Jews and Palestinian Arabs said as they were commanded, and suddenly there was a sound of rattling, and the bones came back to together, bone to bone.

And He said to them, “Say to the spirit, thus said the Lord G-d, ‘Spirit, from the four winds, come and breathe in those slain, so they may live again.'”

And the spirit came into the bones, and they lived and they stood on their feet, a very great multitude.

Then the Lord said to the Jews and Palestinian Arabs, “These bones are you, the whole house of Israel.”

“You both say after October 7th, ‘we have dried up, our hope is lost, we are doomed.'”

“Therefore I open your graves and lift you up out of your graves as My people and bring you to the Land of Israel. Then you shall know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and lead you up out of your graves as My people. And I will put My spirit into you, and you shall live, and I will set you on your own soil, and you shall know that I, the Lord, have spoken and acted, the word of the Lord.”

“And you, Jews and Palestinian Arabs, take for yourself one stick and write upon it, ‘For the Jews and their companions,’ and take one stick and write upon it, ‘For the Palestinian Arabs and their companions.’ And bring them close, so they become one stick, joined together in your hand.”

“And when both your people say to you, ‘What are these to you?’ say to them, ‘So says the Lord G-d: Behold I will take the stick of the Palestinian Arabs and I will place them with the stick of the Jews, and I will make them one in My hand.'”

“Behold I will return them both from among the nations where they have gone, and I will gather them from every side, and I will bring them to their Land.”

“And I will make them into one nation in the Land upon the mountains of Israel, and one king shall be to them all as a king, and they shall no longer be two nations, neither shall they be divided into two kingdoms.”

“And they shall no longer defile themselves with all the detestable things and transgressions they have done to each other, and I will save them from their settlements, and I will purify them for Me as a people and I will be to them a G-d.”

“And I will form a covenant of peace for them, it shall be an everlasting covenant with them, and I will establish them and I will multiply them, and I will place My Sanctuary in their midst forever.”

“My Presence shall rest over them, I will be their G-d and they will be My people. And the nations shall know that I am the Lord, who sanctifies Israel, when My Sanctuary is in their midst forever.”

About the Author
Adam Gross, an Oxford-educated strategist, has over 20 years' experience solving complex problems in the international arena for United Nations agencies, international financial institutions, private sector, NGOs and social enterprises across Europe, Africa and Asia. Adam made aliyah with his family in 2019 to live in northern Israel.
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