The Ongoing Legacy of the Bibas Family

The most famous family in the world today is the Bibas family. Yarden, Shiri, Ariel and baby Kfir. Not a Hollywood, presidential or other ritzy family. No, not now. There is so much to be said about a lovely, balanced family surrounded by a cohesive community in Israel.

On October 7, the first time they made it to the press was when Shiri, in pyjamas, strapped 3 year old Ariel and 9 month old baby Kfir to her and tied a blanket around them all. Hamas came to their home, woke them up, dragged them outside and Shiri, 32 years old, was standing alone, surrounded by armed terrorists, terrified. All three of them were thrown in a white pickup truck, never to be seen again. Yarden went out to fight. Shiri’s parents were killed as was their beloved dog Tonto. My friend, Professor Cochav Elkayam Levi, author of the October 7 Commission on sexual violence and crimes against humanity coined a new term for this atrocity. Kinocide…the systemic murders of family. Hamas knew exactly what they were doing.

Throughout the ensuing months of captivity, we prayed, did loads of good deeds, hoping against hope that Shiri and boys were ok. So many said it was unlikely they were alive. I said from the beginning that no Jew belongs in Gaza, they must all be brought home to Israel, no matter the circumstances.

Whatever the whole world’s thoughts were didn’t measure up to the Bibas and Silberman families thoughts. We learned about Shiri’s sister Dana, who lost her parents that terrible day. We learned about Yarden’s family as they spoke so eloquently about him in captivity, and their hopes and dreams of all of them coming out alive as other hostage families were released. We followed them like they were our cousins, their heartbreak was shared by us all.

The truth came tumbling out as Yarden was released to his family a few weeks ago, not knowing Shiri and his boys went into captivity. Shortly after, it was then confirmed that all three were dead. They were released and brought back to Israel. We now know they were murdered by Hamas ten days afterward, on October 17th, 2023. They were strangled and mutilated in the worst way possible. When the hearse convoy came out of Gaza, through the Gaza Envelope, I happened to be running a trip that day and we were part of the flag procession. Watching the vehicles was my way of saying goodbye to these beautiful sacrifices.

I feel like I lost a limb. How can we love people who we don’t know? The answer is that we do know them. They are our family, they are us.

Today I went to the shiva pavilion to visit with Yarden and Dana and Yarden’s family.

Dana, Shiri’s sister has no immediate family left, although the Bibas family would disagree. They ‘adopted’ her as soon as they met her.

My driver arrived punctually at 2:15, picked me and 13 other passengers up and we were on our way at 2:30. Waze delivered us at the Kfar Hamaccabia pavilion promptly at 4:00. The lines were quite short, shiva had just begun. A delicious spread of goodies and drinks was available for all the visitors and was replenished every 15 minutes. By 4:30 it was our turn.
I had met Dana a few weeks ago at a challa bake in Jerusalem and she recognized me immediately. She put her hand out and l took it with both of mine and looked into her eyes. I told her how very sorry l/we all were about her family. And that we tried so hard and that all our efforts to bring them back to Israel were not for nothing. Her eyes gave me a smile and she thanked me for putting baby Kfir on my Facebook profile. She knew how much l/we all tried and our efforts weren’t wasted. They are all home now, buried in Israel.

I didnt speak to Yarden, he was taking a break. But l saw him, a mere shadow of the person on a big screen with his beautiful family, a slide show behind them told us all we were in the midst of something so horrific, as if amplified because it was not an illness or an accident or a natural death. This was all planned by the most evil of monsters.

Yarden and Shiri, Ariel and baby Kfir, Shiri’s parents Margit and Yossi and their beloved dog Tonto and other family and friends were all on the screen slide show.
You have all seen the pictures. An unavoidable aspect sticks out. They were a loving, beautiful unit. Shiri and Yarden were relaxed, calm, happy and family oriented. Their little cottage in the young couples area of Kibbutz Nir Oz was all they needed. They weren’t thinking about a mansion on a beach somewhere. All they ever dreamed of was right there. They were the ‘everyman’ family. So regular that aside from the boys’ orange hair, you might not have noticed them. Yarden and Shiri had loving, magical lives. They were the promise of our heritage. They ‘got it’ and worked to build Israel.

Israel prides itself on family. Babies are doted upon and children are given wide berth to grow up as freely as possible. Their behavior sometimes reflects this attitude but don’t worry ‘the army will fix them up’ says every parent with wild kids here! Children are our forever.
Our national anthem is all about this freedom in our land.
We are not there yet. We have the land, but not the freedom.
And now, all that’s left of this family is Yarden and his parents and sister, and Dana…living in the land that seems unfamiliar right now.

There are a whole bunch of young Jewish people who will not have children because of this anguish. The catastrophe is too much to bear, the risk is too great. I’ve heard this time and again.
But there is a flip side to this option.
In every generation we have people who tried to annihilate us. And yet, we are still here.
Why and how?
Because God gave us a promise. We have a covenant. We march on.
Have a look how many babies have been born since the war started. 180,000 babies were born in Israel in 2024. Compare that number with countries with similar populations – the Czech Republic – 90,000 and Sweden – 100,000 and neither of those countries have a war going on.
The legacy of the Bibas family is that babies (and a 26 year old convert) are being named Ariel and Kfir – they are unisex names.
If that isnt a kick in Hamas’s foul, sub human gut then what is?
We also visited with Yocheved, the widow of Oded Lifshitz also a released hostage from the same community. We left the Kfar at 5:00, by that time there were several hundred visitors on line, and we came home in record time, reeling with today’s visit to Tel Aviv.
Showing the bereaved our love and support is the least we can do.

Rest in peace dearest Shiri, Ariel, baby Kfir, Saba Yossi, Savta Margit and Tonto the dog. You taught us so much about what it is to be a family. We will never forget you.
May Yarden and Dana find comfort among the people of Israel.
May all the hostages be released IMMEDIATELY.