The only thing we know is we don’t know anything

Every day I wake up to multiple messages from friends in America. Some ask if I am ok, some ask how our family is doing and some ask jokingly if I am still alive. And honestly, I just don’t know.

This week has been a roller coaster in Israel. We started with the tragic deaths (murder) of 12 innocent kids playing soccer last Saturday afternoon, when a rocket from Hezbollah landed on their soccer field. This launch was from an army with technology and sophisticated weapons, so make no mistake, this WAS NOT an accident. As the entire country mourned, we sat there wondering if this tragedy would prompt Israel to take stronger action in the north to deter Hezbollah and allow residents to return home.

The next day, unfortunately, we experienced our usual Israeli infighting at the base in Sde Teiman, leading to a general feeling of “we are back where we started.” While we continued to wait for Israel’s response in the north, we all felt that this internal conflict diminished our leadership’s ability to focus on the retaliation.

Monday, another rocket from Hezbollah killed an Israeli in the north. We still sat here wondering, how much more can we take?

Then the news started rolling in: an Israeli strike in Beirut, crossing the red line drawn by Iran, Hezbollah, Lebanon, and others. It quickly became evident that this was not just any attack but a precise, targeted strike that took out Hezbollah’s second-in-command. Israel was filled with shock and excitement, finally seizing a moment to be on the offensive and demonstrate our reach into Lebanon. Could this be the deterrent we needed? However, the rhetoric suggested otherwise, and we stocked up on water, snacks, and essentials, anticipating inevitable retaliation.

Waking up on Wednesday at 6 am to the usual messages jokingly asking if Lebanon had retaliated and making sure we were alive, the news started pouring in about the assassination of Hamas leader Haniyeh in Teheran. At first, it seemed like a joke or fake news, but after exchanging a few messages with someone “in the know,” it was confirmed to be true. By 7 am, everyone in Israel was talking about it. Celebrating the death of our “Bin Laden,” stores were giving out free baklava and falafel, people were posting memes everywhere, and you could feel the excitement in the air, almost like when they rescued the hostages. The feeling that Israel’s long arm was back, the fact that this was done in Iran, and the way we took out two high-level terrorists in a matter of hours, restored a sense of strength to us all.

But with that strength, we also realize that this is not as simple as just going back to work and feeling on top of the world. We still have soldiers in Gaza and on the northern border, who are now facing an enemy with greater resolve and a more coordinated response to Israel’s actions. We have made Iran look incompetent on its own turf, killing a guest of theirs for the inauguration of their new president, right under their watchful eye. They have vowed to retaliate and aim to bring all their proxies into the conflict.

A few short weeks ago, on a Saturday night, we witnessed a miracle before our own eyes when we successfully defended against an attack of hundreds of ballistic missiles and drones. As a pilot described, it was like Star Wars in real life. Miraculously, we sat in Israel, unsure of what was going to happen, trusting that our leaders and G-d would take care of us, and they did.

But now, as we go through our daily routines, we wonder: will they have learned from that Saturday night? Will they shoot from four directions to overload the system? What if a ballistic missile hits? And most importantly, how does Israel react if they have any success? Do we launch a full-blown attack on Hezbollah or Iran, and what would that mean? Would the US continue to help us? Would Turkey get involved after threatening Israel?

We live in a country and time of unknowns. I don’t know if I will be sleeping in my bed or a bomb shelter tonight. I don’t know if it will be a Shabbat of rest and meals with friends or a Shabbat of listening to emergency news. I don’t know how my kids will react or what to tell them when they hear more bombs going off everywhere. I don’t know if next week will be safe for us to leave the house.

Right now, we carry on with our lives and pray for better days of peace and quiet, for the return of our hostages, and for the end of the war. We pray for our soldiers to come home and be with their families, for injured soldiers to have quick recoveries, and for evacuees to return home.

But if you ask me if we are okay, I really don’t know.