The Paris Perspective: Leading with Understanding
I traveled to Paris last week to join fellow Israeli and Palestinian civil society leaders for “The Paris Call for the two-state solution,” an urgent gathering with the best of intentions. We came to lend our voices to the cause of peace and security. However, as we prepared our statements for the international community, a devastating truth became clear: after decades of peace-building, no one is actually listening.
What I observed in Paris was the grim reality of a conflict that has moved beyond the battlefield into a competition for global sympathy. For years, I have seen both Israelis and Palestinians locked in what can only be described as a “Victimhood Olympics,” where each side portrays themselves as the perfect victim and the other as the ultimate villain. At the summit, it was obvious that both peoples, who are needed to support a two-state solution, are so consumed by their own existential fears and traumas that they cannot hear the other. The dialogue was a painful illustration of people talking past one another, speaking of their own horror but unable to acknowledge the other’s.
Both peoples are in the grip of active, ongoing trauma. Can we honestly expect Israelis, who witnessed the slaughter, rape, and burning of their people on October 7th—the most deadly attack on Jews since the Holocaust—to feel anything but weak and persecuted? The world’s response, often conflating all Jews with Israeli government policy and framing the attacks as something other than a brutal massacre, has only deepened a historic fear: you are alone.
Simultaneously, can we expect Palestinians living under occupation and the rule of corrupt, unelected leaders to prioritize the anxieties of their occupier? Where are the global marches demanding elections for Palestinians, who haven’t voted since 2006? The freedom chanted for in Western streets often ignores the cries of Palestinians yearning for freedom from their own oppressive rulers.
The international community, which has appointed itself judge and jury, has made this worse. By picking a side, it uses Israelis and Palestinians as pawns in its own political virtue-signaling, entrenching them in their corners instead of helping. The simplistic narrative of “Israelis strong, Palestinians weak” that often dominates the discourse misses the entire point. To expect empathy from people fighting for their basic safety is not just unrealistic; it is cruel.
A path forward requires a fundamental paradigm shift. The well-intentioned efforts in Paris will fail if they are built on the same flawed foundation of blame. As leaders of civil society, our work must begin with fostering a real space for the recognition of both voices. Acknowledging the legitimacy of fear on both sides is not a diplomatic nicety; it is the prerequisite for any progress.
I am reminded of a popular song lyric that I believe captures the current emotional reality: it’s not about forgiveness, but about the feeling that makes forgiveness possible. Israelis will not be able to genuinely support a two-state solution that feels like it trades away their security until the need for that security is recognized and addressed. Crucially, that recognition takes nothing away from the true and grave pain and insecurity that Palestinians feel.
The choice today is between perpetual conflict and the difficult, yet possible, path of a diplomatic solution. History has shown this is possible; the Israel-Egypt peace treaty was signed just six years after a devastating war. To get there, we must stop listening to our own biases and start building the practical structures of security, economics, and education that will finally allow Israelis and Palestinians to listen to each other. We must make the Victimhood Olympics themselves obsolete.
