The Pink Ribbon

It was Shabbat, May 1983. I was 17. We were on our way to synagogue to celebrate my little brother Steven’s bar mitzvah. In classic 80s fashion, I was wearing a heather grey pinstripe dress suit, with a giant pink ribbon adorning my white ruffled blouse.

A little over a year later In July 1984, my beautiful mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had just celebrated her 44th birthday. I was then 18 and about to leave for college when our world turned upside down. Little did I know at the time that, eight years later, the pink ribbon was to become the international symbol for breast cancer awareness and take on a life of its own.

My mom was hopeful, determined to fight and survive breast cancer. Despite enduring years of grueling chemotherapy and radiation, clearly suffering and in pain, she never complained. She remained positive and cheerful throughout her treatments.

My mom was elated on May 12, 1989, when I got engaged. And on June 25, 1989, when my older brother Mark got married, my mom felt fantastic at his wedding. We had so much to celebrate. She was sure she was cured. But in January 1990, after an outing with my bridesmaids for their dress fittings, the bright light in all our excitement dimmed. My mom’s cancer, which she thought she had beaten, had returned and spread to her bones.

On June 3, 1990, my mom was at my bridal shower. On June 7, 1990, my beautiful 49-year-old mom was gone. On June 24, 1990, I walked down the aisle without my mom by my side. On what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, I was a heartbroken bride. No mom, no dancing, no music. Life was never to be the same.

My dad was absolutely devastated and lost without my mom. We all were. Wanting to cherish every last moment I had with my mom, I ended up writing a book, Just One More Day, so her memory could live on. The grief was overwhelming. I would fall asleep thinking of my mom and would wake up every morning with tears in my eyes.

Yet I was so blessed when motherhood healed my broken heart. My first baby, Brady, was born in August 1992. He filled my void with his genuine love. The pink ribbon was created that same year as the universal symbol for breast cancer awareness!

With the births of my second son, Daniel, in 1995 and my daughter, Carly, in 1999, I experienced so much joy. And I was incredibly grateful for my darling children. But the yearning for my mom was a constant heartache in my soul. I wasn’t just a motherless daughter. I was now a motherless mother. I began to realize what my mom must have felt leaving behind her three children.

Between my two brothers and me, there were now eight grandchildren that my mom never had the pleasure to know and to love. I became devoted to preserving our families’ memories so my children would have  special things to remember in case I died young like my mom.

As I approached 43, the age my mom was before she became sick, I felt a deep appreciation for my good health. I promised myself that, because I had the gift of health, I would honor my mother by living a life of purpose. My mom’s words, “Make yourself useful” resonated with me as I strived to be the mother my mom was to me.

Passionate about our Jewish community, my mom was president of her B’nai B’rith chapter and actively involved in our synagogue sisterhood. It was important to me to honor my mom’s legacy of giving back to the Jewish community and I began searching for deeper meaning in my life.

When I joined Hadassah in 2009, I immediately felt at home and inspired by the fabulous “women who do.” I was pleasantly surprised to learn that its Hadassah Medical Organization (HMO), with its two hospitals in Jerusalem, is  a leader in breast cancer research and raising awareness about the disease — things that had become my passion.

As a comprehensive facility, HMO’s Breast Health Center of Excellence at Hadassah Hospital Ein Kerem offers screening for early detection, personalized treatment plans, clinical trials and health education events, as well as psychological support for patients and survivors.

HMO also provides counseling and testing for genetic mutations,  emphasizing the importance of this screening, especially for BRCA mutations that significantly increase breast and ovarian cancer risk in the Jewish and Arab populations. HMO often collaborates with organizations like Sharsheret to provide education and support in this area.

While Hadassah’s breast center leads with cutting-edge research and treatment, what I feel sets HMO apart is a holistic, human-centered approach. HMO’s work isn’t just about extending life — it’s about improving the quality of life for women at every stage of the journey: from prevention and early detection to treatment and survivorship. Hadassah’s mission is especially meaningful to me and supporting it is a way for me to bless my mom’s memory.

Supporting Hadassah means also being part of something bigger: a global effort that combines Jewish values, world-class medicine and a relentless commitment to saving lives. That’s a cause I believe in — and one I’m proud to stand behind.

I know I am making my mom proud as, like her, I am leaving behind a legacy of giving back to our Jewish community and making a difference through tikkun olam, repairing the world.

This past July, my lovely daughter became engaged to the love of her life, and my heart could not be happier. As an overjoyed mother of an excited bride to be, I can appreciate all the feelings of delight I saw my own mother experience all those years ago in 1989 when I was 23. I do not take for granted that having a front row center seat in my daughter’s gleeful journey as she becomes a wife is a privilege that was sadly stolen from my mom.

I can only imagine what my mom had been going through as she planned my wedding, praying and hoping to stay alive because she had so much more living to do. It makes it much more precious to me to have the honor of walking my daughter down the aisle and seeing her marry her true love.

I treasure every moment with my children, as I remain passionate about Hadassah’s dedication to rid the world of this horrific disease.

It is my unwavering calling, through support of Hadassah, to help bring about the day when no husband, parent, sibling, child or friend ever has to see their loved ones suffer and succumb to breast cancer.

October is breast cancer awareness month. October is also the month of my daughter‘s engagement party and, yes, I will proudly be wearing pink. For my mom, for us all. May my sweet mother’s memory forever be a blessing. I love and miss you, mom.

In loving memory of Bernice Elbaum, June 13, 1940-June 7, 1990.

Sharon is a member of the Hadassah Writers’ Circle, a dynamic and diverse writing group for leaders and members to express their thoughts and feelings about all the things Hadassah does to make the world a better place. It’s where they celebrate their personal Hadassah journeys and share their Jewish values, family traditions and interpretations of Jewish texts. Hadassah members are proud of their Zionist mission and their role as keepers of the flame of Jewish values, traditions and beliefs as well as advocating for women’s empowerment and health equity for all. Since 2019, the Hadassah Writers’ Circle has published nearly 650 columns in The Times of Israel Blogs and other Jewish media outlets. Interested? Please contact hwc@hadassah.org.