The Power of Prayer – Hope for the High Holidays

Howdy and shalom. I hope all are well and have been enjoying a nice summer.  I am returning from my break from my TOI Blog. I have spent time reflecting, writing music, reading, and trying to stay cool. We are now in the month of Elul, leading up to the high holidays, and I wanted to offer a few suggestions to make your holidays more meaningful.

We learn from the commentaries on the high holidays prayer Unetaneh Tokef, from Talmud Yoma, the Talmudic tractate on the Day of Atonement, that prayer, repentance, and charity can avert ‘an evil decree’ for the year to come. This is also true in our day to day life.

https://www.thetorah.com/article/unetaneh-tokef-repentance-prayer-and-charity-cancel-the-decree

I am holier than no one, and writing as a Jewishly educated and somewhat experienced secularized lay person with a few suggestions and true stories from my real life spiritual journeys with my family in the hope of assisting many of you to have a more meaningful spiritual and reflective experience this holiday season.

I have a large Judaica library at home with many prayer books and machzors (holiday prayer books) from various traditions in Jewish life, and various historical periods. The prayer book is the ‘greatest hits’ collection from the Jewish tradition, and anyone can learn the basics of Jewish belief, spiritual practice, ethics, philosophy and holidays just by perusing any Jewish prayer book.

Now that I am in my ‘bifocal years’ I find it harder to read the fine print in many siddurs so have passed a number of prayer books of various denominations from Chabad Orthodox to Israeli Sephardic, to Reform to members of my family with my blessings.

Recently I have been thinking about the prayer books we used at Hebrew school and synagogue and at home and I have accumulated the full collection from my grandfather’s day to my own. I should say that ‘owning’ the prayer books is not the same as actual prayer and this should be true for anyone who thinks they can ‘buy’ spiritual wisdom at their local Judaica shop or with pricey high status synagogue membership and attendance. Just saying.

I regard prayer as a solo spiritual sport, and it is for this reason that the Hebrew word for prayer, Lehitpallel is a REFLEXIVE verb. It means to reflect and to judge ourselves. Prayer is something we do with and for ourselves, and the results are not always immediately apparent. But these effects and experiences accumulate over time with persistent effort. I have often been amazed at ‘aha’ moments in the prayer book when I am astonished to find a sentiment written in ancient times whose wisdom expresses my current concerns exactly. How could they possibly have known what I most needed to hear in that moment?

There have been times that I have been more regular in my prayers and religious observance, and sometimes less so, and this is true for many of us. This is to be expected. Prayer is a skill to be cultivated over one’s lifetime and rewards those who pursue it sincerely and regularly. Reading the English translation is FINE. Know what you are saying. God understands all languages!

I was blessed to have genuine spiritual mentors and teachers at my Hebrew school and synagogue, and they are the examples I call upon when I think about sincerity in prayer and Jewish ethics and values, even though I cannot come close to their standard. They continue to inspire me. We must all be ourselves and grow spiritually as we are.

This is a true story about the power of prayer and the sanctity of Jewish prayer books. Our family was moderately observant Jewishly and kept a kosher home. We kids went to Hebrew day school. Dad went to synagogue every shabbat and holiday.  We supported Israel and Jewish charities and read Jewish newspapers. We lit candles and said kiddush every Friday night, and celebrated the Jewish holidays.

In 1976, my father had cancer, and people across the community and around the world were praying for him. His friends stepped in to help him run his business. My mother nursed him back to health at home. At this time, during his recovery, my father began praying the morning services daily at home in our family room. The cupboard where he kept his tallis and tefillin and siddur was a holy space, as holy as the Aron Kodesh at synagogue, and we as children knew not to mess with it.

The home is a ‘mikdash me’at’ or small private sanctuary in the Jewish tradition, and its traditions are a valuable counterpart and counterpoint to the public activities of the synagogue and wider Jewish community.

The siddur my father prayed with at home from 1976 onward was my old Hebrew school prayer book, Siddur Tifereth David, a Modern Orthodox prayer book with formal English translation first published in 1951 by the Hebrew Publishing Company in New York. It was the precursor to the Birnbaum Orthodox Siddur many of us grew up with in synagogue.

They say that prayer and repentance and charity can avert an ‘evil decree’ (Talmud Yoma), and this practice has been followed by many in the Jewish community in times of illness or crisis. It worked. My father, a Shoah survivor known for his kindness, generosity, compassion and ethics, survived that health crisis and later ones, and lived to see the marriage and success of his children and the birth of five flourishing grandchildren.

That prayer book, Siddur Tifereth David, became our ‘family siddur’ for Friday Night Kiddush and Chanukah Candle Lighting and various holidays. I still have it. My father actually wore through the pages in his morning prayers, and I had to get him a new prayer book years later. I still have the old one, with torn pages held together with yellowing scotch tape and with Dad’s finger prints on the worn page corners. It is an heirloom of memory and sanctity. I got a second hand copy of this prayer book to study the prayer tradition we grew up with but it didn’t have the same feeling of sanctity and endurance.

In his senior years, my father suffered a catastrophic health crisis and tragic decline. He was still praying daily, sometimes from his hospital bed or at home. My most meaningful Rosh Hashana (Jewish New Year) was a private prayer service the two of us held in the patient lounge of a downtown Toronto rehab hospital, with just us and two machzors (holiday prayer books).

Dad was in his hospital gown. We prayed and talked quietly together. Now and then he asked me what page I was on to ensure we were in synch. I interpreted his question to mean ‘what page was I on’ in my life, and I am still asking myself these questions. They are my most important questions, and worthwhile questions for everyone, especially at the high holidays. I miss the sense of awe and sanctity and respect for God and prayer we encountered as children at synagogue.  Our parents believed that our fates were truly written over the high holidays, and sealed at Yom Kippur, and prayed accordingly.

During the Torah service for Rosh Hashana, Dad paused and asked me a question.  He said, “It says here that God promises Abraham that we as the Jewish people would be as great as the stars in the sky and the sands by the sea. But we are a very small people, and we have lost so many. How do you explain this?”

How could I explain this to my dear father, aging and ailing, a Holocaust survivor determined and sincere and simple in his faith? He once told me that he didn’t understand all the words he was saying in Hebrew in his prayers but he said them anyway, every day, because he believed that was what God wanted him to do. My faith was more intellectually curious and critical and sometimes distant and rebellious. I envy my father’s faith and strength.

I said, “Daddy, don’t look at numbers or quantity. Look at quality and the historical impact we as the Jewish people have had over thousands of years.” It was the best I could do.

As we approach this Rosh Hashana, I have been sharing with friends and family members a number of new prayer books that I hope will make the Jewish tradition and Jewish prayers accessible to those who did not have the privilege of a Jewish or religious education.

I especially like the series The Everyday Jewish Prayer Book by Hannah Levy, with additional editions for women and men specifically with special meditations and prayers for the unique life experiences and needs of men and women. I also like the My Siddur series edited by Chayim Alevsky, for weekdays, sabbath, and holidays, based on the Chabad tradition, with English translation.  Both are available on Amazon.

At our home synagogue in Hamilton, several years ago, our leadership distributed paperback copies of Shimon Apisdorf’s Beyond Survival series on the meaning and prayers of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. I recommend them highly.

For the keeners most interested in learning about the traditions of the high holidays across history and around the world, I recommend S.Y. Agnon’s The Days of Awe as a wonderful compendium of Jewish thought and counterpart to the high holidays prayer book.

As an accessible scholarly reference and introduction to Jewish prayer and its history, I sincerely recommend Entering Jewish Prayer by Rabbi Reuven Hammer.

To be honest, those of us who have difficulty paying attention and concentrating throughout a two hour film or concert or lecture will likely have difficulty concentrating throughout the long, noisy and crowded high holiday services, although I commend our cantors and rabbis and more experienced congregants for their ability to do so.

Here are some suggestions I have gathered over the years from Jewish educators to make your high holiday services more meaningful and reflective for you. Take breaks. Walk around the synagogue or around the block. Prepare for the holidays by studying the machzor and its themes in advance. Look it up online at sites such as Chabad.org or My Jewish Learning. If you cannot join in-person synagogue services, consider logging into streaming services online.

Think about the issues you want to focus on to improve at this high holiday season.  If necessary, make a few notes and put them in your purse or suit pocket and reflect on them periodically. Prepare for your meeting with God as you would prepare for an important business meeting, and don’t sell yourself short. We are all capable of change and spiritual growth.

Take in the prayers as you would take in music and let them take you where they will. Over years, some of the refrains will become familiar to you and might even move you to tears and loving memory and determination to do better.

Take in the landscapes around you and your holiday gatherings at home, and the cherished moments with loved ones, even the family squabbles, and the foods you eat together. They are irreplaceable and sacred, just like my mother’s gourmet chicken soup, prime rib roast and goopy mashed potatoes followed by her outstanding Courvoisier Holiday Honey Cake.

For those interested, I sincerely recommend Rabbi Arthur Waskow’s Seasons Of Our Joy as an erudite commentary on the Jewish holidays, complete with Jewish recipes.

This is not just ‘when do we eat’ but a complete and immersive holiday experience.  Please be sure to support a food bank this holiday season. I will be supporting Leket Israel and our local Jewish Family Services Kosher Food Bank and invite you to join me.

Wishing everyone a Sweet, Happy, Healthy, Successful, Peaceful and Meaningful New Year.  Shana Tova U’Metuka. L’Shana Tova Tikatevu v’Tikatemu. May you be inscribed and sealed for a Sweet New Year, with best wishes from me and my family.

Am Yisrael Chai. We send our love from Canada.