The Quiet Birthed by Elul’s Introspection
Like countless folks, I have often associated the month of Elul with increased hustle and bustle. After all, this interval is when children return to school, yeshivot fill up after summer break, and prayers of supplication are added to morning services.
What’s more, during Elul, families transition from vacation mode to “business as usual.” Afresh, alarms are set for wakeup, everyone wants to access their homes’ showers at the same time, and breakfast becomes hit-or-miss. During afternoons, there’s that commotion that’s easily linked to homework, dinner prep, and afterschool pursuits.
Nonetheless, beneath the surface, the month of Elul can also be a period of profound internal composure. When inventorying personal deeds, words, and thoughts, some of us find ourselves additionally cocooned in a tranquility that grows from this reaching of ours for rectitude. More exactly, although the teshuvah process necessitates stretching, that is to say, although it dictates changes that are, at times, uncomfortable, simultaneously, this progression can yield a hard-earned inner balance (solely achievable by the willingness to slough off inappropriate approaches to life, and, subsequently, by concretizing this shedding).
It’s in this emancipation from old means of acting, speaking and thinking that invaluable stillness arrives. Viz., upon letting go of an ultimately burdensome standards, one is rewarded with an equanimity that’s unlike any other.
For example, if a person’s preoccupied with a dear one’s heath, with a soldier’s well-being, or with securing enough funds to meet daily expenses, he or she can elect to worry. Alternatively, he or she can do their histadlut, and, thereafter, acknowledge that The Boss is responsible for the outcome. Truly, The Boss was, is, and will always be the determiner of aftereffects, despite the fact that many of us, far too often, operate as though we’re in charge of our destinies.
Consider that in the first aforementioned cause for uneasiness, due diligence might consist of collecting information from medical tests and online research, identifying care providers, and fashioning comfort plus other sorts of sustenance for the unwell party. In the second case, reasonable steps might comprise giving moral support to chayalim before their service begins, during their vacations, and after they’ve been released from duty, besides arranging care packages for them, and offering shelter to lone soldiers from their units. In the third case, individuals’ obligations might be made up of job hunting via traditional and social media, networking, accepting, as a minimum temporarily, less-than-desirable-employment, etc.
Nevertheless, in all cases of discomfort, humans must engage in prayer, i.e., in conceding Who, truly, is in command and in petitioning Him for solace. Our efforts matter. In spite of that truth, under no circumstances will we ever govern results.
Understand, when we “allow” the Aibeshter to regulate our comings and goings, we’re able to exuviate, to sluff, encumbrances that are not ours to portage, at least, not alone. Even though we repeatedly receive nisayonot, we receive those that Shamayim has tailored to each of us and we receive that which we’re not expected to endure independently. The Heavenly design is that we carry on with our challenges and that we do so with Help.
Upon realizing and thereafter embracing this way of living, we are instantly freed. We are transported straightaway to an intangible, enraptured time and place.
The explanation as to why we have limited cultural references to this state is because we have limited moments of authentic surrender to Cosmic Certainty. Yet, this blissful deportment remains available to all of us. It requires “only” deep emunah and bitachon, both of which we reach for anyway, again and again, during Elul.
All in all, this imperturbability is simultaneously impossible and simple to grasp. In spite of the seeming contradiction inherent in and the apparently incredible complexity of attaining this calmness, striving for this objective continues to be a wonderful approach to balancing oneself, especially during a time of the year when one is, at any rate, rigorously stocktaking their existence.
Fortunately, the deconstruction of self, which is practiced during Elul, can bring a tremendous serenity. To some extent, the dissonance suffered while attempting self-improvement can be tempered by the mode of concord that derives from our working toward spiritual regulation.
In sum, early autumn needs not to be restricted to commonplace hubbub. We can and should invite a mindfulness that recalls not just that the King is in the field, per se, but, furthermore, that He loves us and wants to grant us assistance as we pass through the trials and tribulations that He has established for us for the purpose of aiding us in flourishing.
I bless all of us to be able to feel the repose that is possible during this demanding time. Moreover, I bless all of us to experience our annual tallies not as horrific reminders of shortcomings but as openings that enable us to see where and how we can bolster our connection to G-d.
He gave us seasons to learn and to develop ourselves. In the midst of our holy labors, we can and ought to reinforce our reliance upon Him. We can and ought utilize Elul not merely as a time of reckoning but also as a time during which we are able to increase personal peace.
