The Sperm Gang, USA

Why does the abortion debate of 2022 in the USA never address sperm?

After all, you can’t have a fertilized egg without sperm. The forced birth movement fails to address the fact that it takes at least one egg, one womb and an entire team of like a hundred and eighty million spermatozoa to get at least one sperm where it has to go to start making anything whatsoever.

Embed from Getty Images

The mostly male American lawmakers trying to control what happens to a fertilized egg and the womb where it lands (female parts) are completely ignoring the role of the sperm (male part). No sperm, no embryo, right?

So, American women, it’s past time to seize the initiative! It’s time to take a hard look at the spermy side.

Your womb, your B&B

In consensual heterosexual copulation, a woman invites a guy’s gazillion sperm into her body. For that one time. One time. It’s like a B&B reservation for one night. Unless she’s smart and insists on a condom, in which case it’s not even an actual invitation to host any sperm for any time whatsoever. But let’s say no condom. Certainly there was no invitation issued for long-term hosting for even one sperm: not for days, weeks, or months. And in nonconsensual sex, meaning rape, the woman did not invite a guy’s sperm into her body at all, not even for one second.

So where do US lawmakers get the nerve to appoint themselves to decide that she has to host the guy’s sperm as it entertains itself with baby-making fun for an entire nine months? A woman’s uterus is not a Disneyland or a Legoland, right?

And there’s another thing.

No consent, no billeting

Embed from Getty Images

Consider the rarely invoked Third Amendment to the US Constitution, which reads in its entirety: “No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.”

It’s not much of a stretch to think of sperm as a bunch of drone soldiers on a mission. During peacetime, an American does not have to consent to billet any soldier in the home she owns. End of story. And if legislators and judges are continually creating new laws to force a woman to billet a sperm soldier in her body for nine months, then according to the Constitution it must be wartime. So which war is that exactly? The one that culturally fundamentalist American men seem to have been enthusiastically fomenting against American women for the last few decades (or centuries)?

American women, sisters, please – enough is enough. Let’s stop playing defense. Let’s move the battlefield out of our bodies. Is your body an Ivy League law school? No. We need a whole new strategy. We need to take this uprising to sperm gang territory, where it belongs.

What if they declared a war on women and nobody came?