Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews

The still universally rampant ridiculous supposedly divine uneasiness with gay men

There is a solid way to phantom how ridiculous our present understanding of anything is. When we look back in time and study what the smartest of people held for true then. How in the Middle Ages, scientists believed in small life spontaneously coming into existence. How 80 years ago, medical science believed in superior and inferior human races.

Just before the US abolished servitude, some rabbis still rationalized slavery because it was a legal option in the Hebrew Bible. (Never mind that Jewish Oral Law obligated slave owners to treat their slaves extremely humanely, very different from US customs.) Equally ignorantly now, some religious Jews defend US capital punishment, recognized by most nations as barbarian, because the Bible gives that option. (Never mind that the conditions to legally execute were such that hardly anyone got the death penalty then or if applied now would an execution very unlikely.) Gay sex is a capital crime in the Hebrew Bible but surely only for Straight men. Rabbis and lay Jews already for 50 years and still, triumphantly use this Injunction to look down on gays, judge them, and reject their sexuality.

This all came to mind when I thought about the still universally rampant ridiculous supposedly divine uneasiness with gay men.

Religious leaders and followers by the millions gloat about their piousness which supposedly also shows in their rejection of gay men or the for them natural sexuality. They are often not only unaware of how inhumane they are and how they make look their religion and G^d Himself look evil. They also don’t care. Soon, all will see how absurd that was but also how cruel.

After Auschwitz, many Gentiles and Gentile communities care about the fights against antisemitism. In 2020, we still need to conclude that most Straight women and almost all Straight men don’t give a hood about Gays and their suffering. There is no other explanation for the ongoing cruelty.

First there were homosexual men. Then homosexuals. Then gays. Now it’s in to call them part of LGBTQA+. But all these euphemisms cannot hide that the main hatred is directed at gay men. Also in our modern age.

Actually, I wonder how much of transfobia and homophobia is just sexism.

And don’t assume that humanist or secular people are any better. In every very religious community are individuals who don’t look down on gay men; in every very secular community are individuals who do look down on them. It all depends on who they got to know, who sexually assaulted them (men or women) when they were babies, on how comfortable and secure they (don’t) feel about their own gender and sexual identity, etc. You will never know until they tell you.

A young Jewish girl in disgust told me: “I don’t want to get married as long as chupah is only for Straights.” A Jewish mother of a gay son bitterly told me: “The whole idea of a special soul (neshamah) in Jews is a lie. They don’t care a bit.” That’s certainly what it looks like. They sleep soundly and any report on the oppression of gays is none of their business or concern beyond lip service to the now obligatory politically correct positions.

They’re not bad; but their heartlessness does make them seem monsters.

Weak and sensitive gays commit suicide or suffer in silence. Many of the strong try to desensitize and go on living but also suffer mostly in silence.

In Western countries, we do see progress (gay marriage) but at the end of the day, for most people, gay-hatred doesn’t need opposition or defeat.

Sadly so, I could write daily about the oppression of gay men in the news. Not that I feel like doing so. So, sometimes I do, as a lone voice crying in the wilderness. How can Jews, women, Blacks, the handicapped, and so many other oppressed groups hope for and demand an end to their oppressions while they are fine with the way we all make gay lives miserable? Ever seen a march with “Gay Lives Matter”? That’s clear, then.

And don’t blame the leading rabbis or the small rabbis. When we discuss antisemitism, it’s not good enough to just point fingers at Neo-Nazis and the KKK. Everyone who is not a loud ally is complicit.

From the News

Yeshiva University student council heads abstain from voting on whether to approve LGBTQ club.

Reb Yaakov Fogelman OBM (Old City, Jerusalem) said about misogynous rabbis: How can men who think so brilliantly be so stuck when it comes to thinking about women? Substitute gays and the pronouncement goes too.

Northwestern U Qatar campus cancels Lebanese band after anti-gay backlash.

After hostile online comments against Mashrou’ Leila’s appearance, Northwestern said it had mutually agreed with the band to move the event to its US campus.

Israel Prize winner unrepentant for calling gay people ‘disabled’.

I don’t recall reading about anyone demanding that he’d be blocked for Israel’s highest honor or mass demonstrations denouncing his bigotry.

LGBTQ-phobic attacks increased by 36% in Israel in past year – report.

August saw an increase of 58% in online LGBT-phobia cases compared to the month before, after Education Minister and Bayit Yehudi leader Rafi Peretz stated that conversion therapy can be performed on those of LGBT orientation, as well as the rise of the right-wing Noam Party’s election campaign: “Israel chooses to be normal.”

Anti-LGBTQ organization, the Noam party, returns to action.

The return began after a decision by the Jerusalem District Court to allow posting of signs with homophobic messages.

Don’t blame the crazy judge. They claim to follow the law but rather, in the end, they only follow public opinion. But there was no outcry at all.

Israel agrees to Russia’s no-LGBT adoptions rule and High Court maps out middle ground on gay adoption show that all are equal but some are more equal than others.

This is extra shameful since gay parents are statistically so much better parents because of their higher empathy that most straights have a harder time with.

Widowed LGBT Israelis seek standard spousal benefits, but red tape haunts them.

Also here, double standards are alive and kicking with same-sex bereaved spouses shouldering a burden of proof from which straight couples are exempt.

And then, sometimes there is a tiny bit of individual belated good gay news:

After ten years, families of victims in gay center shooting to receive millions in compensation.

California pardons pro-Israel gay civil rights leader Bayard Rustin

And to any gay person alive:
Make the best of it.
It does get better.
No set-back proves that now all is lost.
Living well is the best revenge.

About the Author
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (, born in 1953 to two Dutch survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork, and holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam). He taught Re-evaluation Co-counseling, became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His most influential teachers (chronologically) are: his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach and lehavdiel bein chayim lechayim: Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff and Rav Meir Lubin. * Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years he wrote hasbara for the Dutch public. His fields of attention now are varied: Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (statistics), Politics (Israel, the US and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight Truth), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, GLBTQAI, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), Ecology and Veganism. Sometimes he's misunderstood because he has such a wide vision that never fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what many love about him. Many of his posts relate to affairs from the news or the Torah Portion of the Week or are new insights that suddenly befell him. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, reassure the doubters but make the self-assured doubt more. He strives to bring a fresh perspective rather than bore you with the obvious. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds must be disputed. In short, his main political positions are: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, democracy, anti the fake peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, Science, Free Will, anti blaming-the-victim and for down-to-earth optimism. Read his blog how he attempts to bridge any discrepancies. He admits sometimes exaggerating to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quit a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. November 13, 2018, he published his 500st blog post with the ToI. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having a peek outside of your cultural bubble. * NEW: To see other blog posts by him, his overspill blog you can reach by clicking on the Website icon next to his picture at the head of every post. There you may find precursors to later TOI blog posts, addition or corrections of published TOI blog posts, blog posts the TOI will not carry and some thoughts that are too short to be a TOI blog post. Also, the TOI only allows for one blog post per blogger per 24 hours. Sometimes, he has more to say than that. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me.
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