The Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup — Day 11

Viva Colombia! Viva Los Cafeteros!

Finally a team with strong Zionist credentials has won a meaningful game in this World Cup.  Colombia, coached by Jose Pekerman (M.O.T.), downed Poland, 3-0, in an absolutely critical game today in Group H.  In doing so, the Colombians put themselves very much in the mix to make it out of the group stage.

The Polish team was most likely intimidated by the Colombian team nickname–“The Coffee Growers.”  Who can blame them?

In the other games, England demolished Panama, 6-1, and the Japan and Senegal tied, 2-2, in a battle of relatively ethnically homogeneous squads.

With today’s action, the stage is now set for the final games in each group.  The following teams are definitely moving onto the knockout rounds:  Russia, Uruguay, France, Croatia, England, and Belgium.  The following teams are merely playing for pride in their last games:  Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Morocco, Peru, Costa Rica, South Korea, Tunisia, Panama, and Poland.  Of the remaining teams, some are virtual locks to advance, like Mexico; some are hanging on by a mathematical possibility, like Zionist fave Australia.

The critical game tomorrow for the loyal Zionist is the Portugal-Iran showdown in Group B.  For Iran to make it to the knockout rounds, they must either beat Portugal or force a tie and pray that Morocco defeats Spain.  Neither appears likely.  Portugal is playing well with Cristiano Ronaldo.  The Spanish beat the Moroccan’s ancestors in the Reconquista, and the latter’s chances will not be much improved tomorrow.

Still, it is soccer, after all, and stranger things have happened.

About the Author
Doug Klein is an attorney in Chicago and the wrestling coach at Ida Crown Jewish Academy.