The Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup — Day 21

And then there were eight….

Tomorrow, the first half of the quarterfinals will take place. From a pure soccer perspective, the remaining heavyweights will go at it. Alas, from a Zionist’s perspective, all that remain are lightweights.

The day begins with Uruguay and France. La Celeste have been rising in the Zionist’s esteem since the start of the tournament. In part, this is because they were unfairly graded down in the initial analysis, and, in part because there are few better options. They have played as solidly as   any team thus far, but the expected absence of Edison Cavani could doom their chances against the Froggies.

The Froggies (or “French,” if we must) are fast and talented. Also, a little star-crossed.  The triple whammy of Islamic anti-Semitic violence, left wing ambivalence to the former, and the rising tide of traditional, pig-headed French nationalism in the form of the National Front have cast a deep sense of doubt over the continued vitality of the French Jewish community. It would be nice if France merited a more favorable review, but cest le guerre, as they say.

In a true clash of footballing titans, the Brazilians will take on The Mighty Belgians (that oxymoron again) in the night cap. Both teams have sufficient talent and depth to win the whole thing, but only one will advance. This contest is a relative no-brainer for us.  Brazil is not perfect, but is, by far, the cream of a suspect crop.

in other news, Benjamin Netanyahu has been invited to join Vladimir Putin for one of next week’s semi-final matches. Let’s hope the Prime Minister has been reading this blog so he knows for whom he should be cheering.

About the Author
Doug Klein is an attorney in Chicago and the wrestling coach at Ida Crown Jewish Academy.