‘Tis the Season

We are surrounded, maybe even overwhelmed, by messages about the upcoming holiday season. Regardless of whether you celebrate Chanukah or Christmas, the emphasis is all on “things,” the acquisition, the giving and receiving of gifts.  My parents gave us gifts every night of Chanukah and we perpetuated that for our kids and beyond.  Yet, it feels as if it has become gifts for the sake of gifts, a careful counting of how many items for each child to ensure fairness, an exercise in finding something to buy that they don’t already have.

Let me be the first to say that I love the process of selecting gifts, of hoping to find something that will bring smiles and excitement.  It is a treat for me to see looks of surprise and have someone tell me that it is “just what they wanted.”  And, to be honest, I like opening presents as much as any 5-year-old, excited about any and everything new and fun.

But as I look around our settings of older adult care, I realize that it is not the wrapping paper covered gift that matters. It is a gift much more precious that they desire, the gift of time.  Spending time with our elders is better than any “thing” they could possibly receive.  It doesn’t have to be anything out of the ordinary.  Maybe it’s just sitting together and chatting while you watch the snow fall.  Or perhaps you take a ride in the early evening, looking at the holiday lights.

If your loved one is able, you can bring photo albums or family pictures and reminisce about things that they remember.  And you can ask those questions that both spark their memory and give you greater knowledge and insight, like what holidays were like when they were children, or their favorite holiday tradition.

When there are young children in your family, bring them with you.  Elders light up at the sight of babies and young children and just a few minutes of visiting can brighten their entire day.

Our elders want to feel included. They want to know that they still matter and that you care.  Give the perfect gift this holiday season. Give your time and give yourself to the elders in your life.  You will treasure the moments that you create.