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Mark Hoffman

Too Little, Too Late for Conservative Judaism?

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Three years have passed since I posted two prior essays in the TOI, arguing that the steady decline of Conservative Judaism was at least partially due to a doctrinaire approach to halacha that has long been out of touch with the majority of Conservative Jewish congregants. I asserted that, rather than simply staking out a position in the halachic “center”, we could be the movement with the facility to present the great spectrum of Jewish life and provide our congregants with the resources that they would need to grow Jewishly. The most critical application of such a change in approach would relate to the movement’s longstanding self-destructive approach to interfaith couples and families.

While a fundamental redefinition of Conservative Judaism has never really been on the table for its rabbinic leadership, there has been a serious effort over the past several years to reassess the movement’s approach to interfaith families, and in particular, interfaith marriage. For example, a highly qualified interfaith family specialist was hired by United Synagogue (USCJ) to facilitate a more nuanced understanding of interfaith families among Conservative rabbis and congregations and to explore the potential for such families to actually strengthen our congregations and the American Jewish community.

At the same time, the Rabbinic Assembly commissioned a committee to examine its standards regarding rabbinic approaches to interfaith marriage. After extensive discussion and work with focus groups of movement rabbis, the findings of the committee have been published and presented in various forums. I became aware of the findings during an on-line presentation by the committee chair, Rabbi Aaron Brusso of Bet Torah, Mount Kisco, NY.

Rabbi Brusso eloquently identified some of the problems associated with prior approaches and attitudes toward interfaith marriage by Conservative rabbis and the constraints created for these rabbis by standards of the movement. As re-stated by Rabbi Jacob Blumenthal, CEO of the Rabbinic Assembly and United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism:

“A series of prohibitions — around officiation, synagogue hiring, rituals and public roles — were developed in previous decades on the premise that intermarriage would inevitably lead to Jews leaving our people, and that religious authority could influence congregants’ choices. But that culture of disapproval did not generally dissuade individuals in their marriage choices. It certainly did not draw people closer to our communities. Instead, too often, it pushed them away.”

Such prohibitions also discouraged important conversations between clergy and interfaith couples about meaningful and authentic Jewish engagement. Unfortunately, the Rabbinic Assembly report, issued in January 2024 still “recommends that the prohibition around officiation at interfaith weddings be maintained at this time.” While recognizing the problem and the importance of having hard conversations with young couples, the most substantial actionable outcome of such discussions remains predetermined. Though the interfaith couple’s perception that it is being rejected could perhaps be mitigated by other welcoming interactions, the RA continues to handicap movement rabbis and, by extension, their congregations, in their efforts to engage such couples, who now represent the majority of young American Jews.

Rabbi Brusso, in his presentation emphasized the importance of pastoral expertise in carrying out conversations with interfaith couples effectively. Certainly, effective and compassionate communication is among the most important qualities of clergy, and some are better communicators than others. But as I asserted in my first essay in 2021, just doing things better may never be good enough without a fundamental re-visioning of our movement.

In justifying the continued standard against officiating at interfaith marriages, Rabbi Brusso emphasized the importance of Jewish particularity. He related the feelings associated with lighting Shabbat candles, witnessing Masada with his family, hearing Hatikva at the Olympics or listening to the chanting of Kol Nidre, which might not have been meaningful to him had he not heard it all his life. Yet it seems to me that this is an overly humble view of the power and beauty of Judaism, as well as a gross underestimation of the ability of a non-Jew to develop an appreciation of these experiences without necessarily making the decision to convert to Judaism. We can certainly appreciate the particularity of Rabbi Brusso’s experience of Judaism without devaluing the experience of someone coming to these experiences from the outside, in the context of their love for a Jewish partner or child. Nor should we devalue the perspective of more liberal rabbis who would find performance of interfaith marriage (as well as acceptance of patrilineal Jews) as a useful tool in expanding the positive influence of Judaism in their community.

While Conservative rabbis continue to debate this issue, Conservative congregations continue struggling to survive. Synagogues associated with United Synagogue had declined in number from 573 to 552 from 2011 to 2021. The USCJ website currently lists 548 synagogues, some of which appear to no longer be affiliated. Those that remain tend to have aging congregants. Anecdotally, I occasionally encounter a congregant from a thriving Conservative synagogue, typically in a major metropolitan area with a large and prosperous Jewish population. But even my childhood shul in Queens, NY has been forced to merge with several other synagogues. Whether this remnant of a once dominant movement will be enough to sustain Conservative Judaism as an important contributor to the future of American Judaism is uncertain, at best.

The decision to continue the current policy on interfaith marriage apparently was made after extensive consultation with movement rabbis. The same could not be said for movement congregations nor their lay leadership. We appear to be silent partners in this process. The question is, how long can we remain silent before our congregations are silenced forever?

About the Author
Mark grew up in Queens, NY during the "heyday" of American Judaism. He attended public schools and acquired a limited Jewish education. When he met his future wife, who was not Jewish, she insisted that religion be a part of their life together. She converted to Judaism and that launched him on his Jewish journey. He has been a synagogue president in Upstate New York for several years.