Top 10: “Jewish Day of Rage”

To protest the arrest of two yeshiva students charged with draft evasion, the extremist “Jerusalem Faction” group called for a Day of Rage today. This follows yesterday’s events when hundreds of protesters took to the streets of Jerusalem, Maaleh Adumim, and Beit Shemesh to block traffic.
While disruptive, there are some positives. Here are the top 10 best parts about a Jewish Day of Rage:
10. Springtime rage allows for convenient burning of chametz.
9. “Kol isha” means that tear gas is replaced with Celine Dion’s Greatest Hits.
8. No matter which side you’re on, you still have ten people for mincha
7. When you get worn out from raging, there’s a twenty-minute break for whitefish
6. Counter-protestors are battle-tested from long waits at Israeli post office
5. Opportunity for educational moment by dividing into breakout groups, discussing “sinat chinam”
4. All the follow-up articles asking “why aren’t Jewish millennials coming to rage?”
3. Infighting leads some to break off and form Carlebach and egalitarian rage groups
2. Just next door, babysitting services provided by local USY chapter
1. Before it can get violent, half the group will have to go home to use the toilet
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A “traditional” Day of Rage schedule