Because the Middle East is Funny

Top 10 things Jonathan Pollard just said

After three decades in lock-up, the world may just hold a few surprises

After decades in captivity, US-Israeli spy Jonathan Pollard was released from prison earlier today. Here are the top 10 things he said upon re-entering his new life.

10. Bruce Jenner is a WHAT?

9. I hope I’m not too old for Birthright.

8. Jesus, I can’t find a pay phone anywhere.

7. Glad to see the Royals are still winning the World Series every year.

6. They made a sequel to “Back to the Future”?

5. I’M READY TO TAKE ON THE SOVIETS! USA!!! USA!!!!

4. I sure am glad I chose VHS over Betamax.

3. Whaddya mean George Michael is gay?

2. What the fuck is Facebook and could you please all stop adding me now?

1. 30 years in prison, I’m sure there’s peace in Israel by now.

About the Author

Since making aliyah in 2006, Benji Lovitt has performed stand-up comedy and educational programs for groups including Jewish Federations, Chabads, synagogues, Masa Israel Journey, and Birthright Israel. His perspectives on aliyah and Israeli society have been featured on Israeli TV and radio and in publications such as USA Today, Time Magazine, the BBC, and more. Benji has worked as a cross-cultural trainer with groups including the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Masa Israel and is a popular presenter on the Limmud International circuit. During 2014's Operation Protective Edge, his humorous observations on the war led to his being called in Israel "the only reason to go on Facebook.”