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Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews -- For those who like their news and truths frank and sharp

Transphobes push transkids to hormones and surgery

The whole concept of gender is that sex isn’t everything; how someone sees themselves is more fundamental than what their body resembles.

When people around transkids push sex and deny gender, the kids will feel a need to change their sex to force people to regard them as their gender.

However, who says that a man cannot have female sex organs and a woman not male sex organs? Those who maintain that women should have less body hair and more fat under the skin; Those who maintain that men should have more body hair and a lower voice; these stereotype thinkers push transgender kids towards wanting bodily (sex) changes.

That jives smoothly with medical professionals’ eagerness to transform (pardon the pun) transkids into ‘normal’ boys and girls. What’s so holy about normal? Why could a person with a male body and clothing not wear a pin: ‘Note, I’m a woman,’ and vice versa? A shock? We also needed to get used to replacing horses with cars. Nothing time can’t do.

Why must a discrepancy between sex and gender lead to unhappiness?

Then, some people see themselves as both or neither gender. Sometimes that changes over time; typically, it doesn’t ‘change.’ Rather, it develops.

How insecure about their own gender, sex, or sexuality intolerant people must be when demanding normalcy while trying to pass as ‘normal’!

The organization of (ex-) psychiatric patients in the Netherlands once promoted a poster with white-font words on a silver (mirror) background. The text read: ‘Ever met a normal person? And, was that pleasant?’

Orthodox Judaism doesn’t demand that anyone ‘be normal.’ It does identify the sin of being inauthentic. When it says that we should be on the outside like on the inside, it doesn’t mean that our sex and gender should be the same. It means, rather, don’t pretend to be what you are not.

The first time you think about this could be confusing. But, you can never go wrong when you love people just the way they are and want to be.

I overheard someone say: “I’m interested in you as soon as you stop being so macho.” (This is called gender/sex role.) The reply was: “Wow.” Was that invitation a dream come true or a small price to pay? Was it meant for in private, public, all the time, or at least sometimes? But seemingly, it was not an assault on how the other wanted/needed to be. That’s what counts.

Once, a guy found his wife smoking in the WC on Shabbat. He went to Reb Moishe. Should I divorce her? No. But, what should I do? Love her more.

For every relationship counts that you can’t ‘change’ others. People only can progress to becoming more who they deep-down are. And when we feel loved, it’s easier for us to be or become ourselves. When we feel criticized, we often feel unloved and stuck. So, if you want someone to ‘change,’ love them and say: “Please, never change, unless you want to.”

About the Author
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. He doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. * This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 1500 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog, to which one may subscribe, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/ or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. * Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. * Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. * He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. * He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me.
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