You know I love you. There is no one who loves You more than I. I’ve hosted a Christmas party. I’ve hosted a Kanuka party. I say marry Christmas. As I promised while campaigning. I always do as I promise. I have a huge Christian following. I always end any major address with: God bless America. I always give You a major boost. I’m doing really great. But what are You doing to me?
I’m not quick to complain, but I feel that You’re letting down Your biggest fan. You’ve send me more hurricanes with more destruction than any US president before. Most of those hit are blacks and Hispanics. Everybody is acting as if it is my fault. Then we had the greatest fires in California, threatening the homes of some really successful people. That is finally over and now we’ve got a big earthquake just off the coast of Alaska. My question to You: what are You up to, really?
I feel that You’re playing dirty. What am I supposed to do? Say that you’re angry at me? Ignore that it comes from You? How can I win over the Christian vote if You’re bullying me? Don’t You want Christians to have influence on national politics? I understand if You’re not really into politics – neither am I. But at least, can’t You play along a bit, just to be fair to me?
I’m trying to make America great again. America loves you. You should bring back Your support to the USA.
Therefore, I ask you HUMBLY: Let it go. Whatever bothers You. Cut me some slack. You know that I’m doing a very special job and the best of my presidency is yet to come. Gimme an honest chance, please. Just like I give You – You can’t deny that.
You have no one more faithful. Please be on my side. Together we can do even bigger things. May God bless the United States. May God bless You. (I told You I’m for You. I write You with a capital all the time.)