Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews

Understanding enough to end endemic sexual and child sexual abuse and heal

This is not about evil perpetrators and saintly saviors

Please see this clip, Oprah Winfrey Full Interview ‘Leaving Neverland’ Michael Jackson Accusers. It will take you an hour if you don’t press pause. In my opinion, it’s extremely well done.

Some of my takeaways:

Don’t keep the secret a secret. Talk. Find the safest person and start talking. There’s no talking too much about it. And living well is the best goal.

This is not about betraying the abuser. This is about not betraying your innocent self anymore.

Also, this is not about whether Michael Jackson was a sexual predator — it is not so much about him – although, also in Israel, many have started mourning losing the man they thought he was. Rather, it’s about how to understand sexual child molestation, how to start and keep healing (both for survivors and society) and prevention.

Healing is a process that takes years but is worth every step of the way.

For beginners, this clip is a good introduction to understanding that sexual abuse may feel great and how confusing that can be.

It also shows how fooled the courts were not to put one and one together: When an adult spends the night with kids in one bed repeatedly and has an alarm system set up in case someone approaches the bedroom, that adult is an abuser, no questions asked. How silly to assume that his victims could reveal the truth without many years of therapy as adults.

(In case you still wonder if these guys are lying, take it from an expert that they are not.)

We need potential perpetrators to seek healing for how they were abused before they abuse others, including women perpetrators.

We need perpetrators to seek healing for how they were abused.

An open mind could ask: what was the trauma here, premature sexual activity or the training to be secretive about it? My answer today: If a sexual relationship is based on deceit and entrapment, it can’t be holy.

Also, the predatory side of the sexual relationships that the two survivors talk about doesn’t sound fulfilling to me. The abuser here comes across as a sex addict, not someone who found sexual satisfaction.

Everyone needs to face this stuff to prevent young people from being abused, drifting off into substance abuse and suicide. Watch it today. Why wait? The Oprah tape may be shocking but is not graphic. It may make you upset, cry or shiver but it won’t kill you or hurt you.

Be part of the hope. Play a part in healing the world.

About the Author
The author is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (DES - Diethylstilbestrol), born in 1953 to two Dutch Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork, and holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam). He taught Re-evaluation Co-counseling, became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a vegan for 8 years now. * His most influential teachers (chronologically) are: his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach and lehavdiel bein chayim lechayim: Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo and Rav Zev Leff. * Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years he wrote hasbara for the Dutch public. His fields of attention now are varied: Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science, Politics (Israel, the US and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight Truth), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, GLBTQAI, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), Ecology and Veganism. Many people can't understand or like him because he has such a wide vision that he never fits any specialist's box. But that exactly what others love about him. Many of his posts relate to affairs from the news or the Torah Portion of the Week or are new insights that suddenly befell him. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, reassure the doubters but make the self-assured doubt more. He strives to bring a fresh perspective rather than bore you with the obvious. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds must be disputed. In short, his main political positions are: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, democracy, anti the fake peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, Science, Free Will, anti blaming-the-victim and for down-to-earth optimism. Read his blog how he attempts to bridge any discrepancies. He admits sometimes exaggerating to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quit a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. November 13, 2018, he published his 500st blog post with the ToI. * He likes doing age-appropriate and age-inappropriate things and looks forward to getting to know his timeless mature out-of-the-box soul mate. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me.
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