Vayetzei: Time Flies When You’re Not Having Fun

Albert Einstein coined the famous expression “Time flies when you’re having fun.” Indeed, for most of us, there are occasions, such as holidays or family vacations, during which time seems to fly by and the fun ends too quickly. Conversely, there are events or occasions in life that we eagerly anticipate and that, as we get closer and closer, we feel that we simply cannot wait any longer. In light of these truths, there is a verse in the Torah portion, Parashat Vayetze, that we read this week that is both bizarre and shocking.

The parasha describes Jacob’s excitement upon meeting Rachel for the very first time. Observing her with her flock, he felt a sudden surge of strength that enabled him to roll a large stone off the mouth of a well so that her flock could drink (Genesis 29:10) and then, overwhelmed by emotion, he kissed her and broke into tears (29:11). During his stay in her father Laban’s home, we are told that Jacob loved Rachel to the point that he was willing to serve Laban for seven full years so that he can have her hand in marriage (29:18).

One can only imagine how difficult it must have been for Jacob to see Rachel day after day knowing that he could not marry his beloved until the conclusion of his seven years of service. After I became engaged to my wife, she went on a three-month fellowship to Vienna before we got married, and it seemed like an eternity. I cannot even begin to fathom what it would have been like to wait for seven years!

Yet, shockingly, the Torah reports, “So Jacob served seven years for Rachel and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her” (Genesis 29:20). How could this be? Given that this prolonged wait could not have been “fun”, by any means, we would have expected it to become more difficult with each passing day, as Jacob would grow increasingly impatient and frustrated that his passionate desire for Rachel went unfulfilled. How then could this entire period seem to him “but a few days”?

Perhaps seeing his beloved and beautiful Rachel in the morning before he began his day of work and then again in the evening, and perhaps exchanging pleasant words, a loving glance, and a warm smile in the hours in between, were a sufficient cause for joy? Or perhaps time seemed to fly by because he was elated by the mere thought that one day this wonderful woman will be his, even if that day was far off in the future? If we are right, then Jacob is exhibiting here a remarkable ability to enjoy and appreciate life in the present, imperfect as it may be, while longing for better days in the future.

For the past 14 months, Israel has fought a long and protracted war in the north and in the south. Now that a ceasefire has been declared in the north, we are even more desperate to return our hostages, finish the war in the south, and resume our normal lives. The question is can we find a way to enjoy what he have and what we have accomplished so far, even though there is much more to accomplish in the weeks and months ahead?

In Tel Aviv last night, my wife and I had the privilege of hearing Douglas Murray, a journalist, best-selling author, and a leading defender of Israel on the international stage. At one point during his riveting presentation, he mentioned that some of his colleagues have expressed “disappointment” that, as of late, he has become less pessimistic than usual and they wanted to understand why. He explained to them, and to us, that this was because of his many visits to Israel since the outbreak of the war, and of the many extraordinary people, to whom he referred as “diamonds”, he has met here. He talked about the many acts of kindness, generosity and selflessness that he has witnessed, and contrasted the young adults here who live with a sense of purpose to their cohorts in the US and the UK who spend years, and an obscene amount of money, in universities where they learn to become stupid, bad, and acquire useless degrees. He then referred to a visit he paid to a colleague of his, an acting instructor, who was teaching a group of Israeli students, and he marveled at their ability to sing, dance and love, despite their being surrounded by so many people who want to kill them, and despite all they have been through this past year. After seeing this and so much more, how could he not be optimistic and hopeful?

If someone from the outside can express such optimism and hope because of the time he has spent here, then perhaps we too can learn to appreciate this country and all we have achieved, and experience the time we live in now, despite our many unfulfilled hopes and expectations, like Jacob, as “but a few days”.