Villa Sultana and the oily tuna

Well hello there again! How are you? I am so excited to share my latest experience in my crazy life (chaim  meshuga). Let me just start typing before something more exciting comes along.

The chapter before Tuna….

Have you ever met a person so awesome that you don’t forget them because they have the most captivating energy? They have the kindest words. Their smile is warm and inviting? If you answered no to these questions then you may just want to go and see my friend Gal in Bat Galim (Haifa). He’s officially my friend (if only in my head) and I am going to tell you why. If you have been reading what I have been writing then you are well aware that I am a olah chadisha (new immigrant) to Israel. How’d she do that you may wonder? Short story is it took some planning and paperwork to get to this moment and when you add a few extra steps that needed to be taken, voila… I am here. The most important  step in this process was a pilot trip where you basically find a place to live and a job, which by the way I have neither of ( don’t even get me started). I knew I wanted to to be near the sea and sand so I made a decision by closing my eyes and picking a random location. Bat Galim would be on the list for my pilot trip and so would Hadera ( sleepy beach town on edge of the city to be exact).

Any who, I decided to check out an Air B n B and fell  in love with the city and my host that was extremely helpful and had a lot of information on this special place. That host was Gal, who by the way went above and beyond his pay grade to make me comfy. In the end I chose Hadera because I had haverim (friends) there but I never forgot my experience in Bat Galim (daughter of waves if you must know what it means).

Why did I need to tell you all of the above? Well; I had to get that out to explain to you the crazy that I am (no surprise there) and how I came to visit my newfound friend at this beautiful Villa that I had the pleasure of spending Shabbat in and even had a chance to meet the interesting owner Nurit who also stayed for shabbat and who made a delicious dinner and gave amazing history on this beautiful 100 year old pot of gold (which she has renovated over the past 3 years). I really hope you are following me. I am being really long winded but trust me, you need a laugh on me. Okay so where was I?

Some things just don’t mix. Cute new pajama dress, hunger and you guessed it..

And this is where the crazy began. I ran to the store and came home and instead of changing clothes before my top chef moment (I was trying to be cute), I decided to just cook in the pajama dress. Big mistake. Gal and I were talking about and how dramatic life can be for us at times. We agreed that our lives came with a little sprinkle of the “D”  even when things seemed to be coasting on easy. Oh my damn goodness just like that, I swear on the earth that we must have woke the drama Goddess out of her beauty sleep because she supplied us all with a little show via me as her vessel.

I was doing so great. I made a yummy balsamic vinaigrette salad with cucumbers, tomato, fresh garlic and lemon. Yay, I got through that with no spills or stains. Okay, I chopped an onion. Yay, not one tear and then I opened tuna can number one and realized I once again got the one packed with oil and not water. SIGH.  I gotta pay more attention I say under my breath. Okay. I’ll just drain the holy hell out of it. So I’m standing there with tuna can number one. Drained and such a success but the drama goddess just couldn’t take it. The second can (serves me right for buying canned tuna), I decided to “extra drain” (whatever the hell that means) and that is when the can exploded and the oil went everywhere. On my face, my dress, oh my goodness. You should have seen the look on my face. I was on 5 second delay and in total shock, the most natural thing to do was get naked. Do you understand me? NAKED! I took the dress off! I mean it’s tuna and I’m a girl that loves some tuna but I don’t want to smell like a can of it. So I got naked and whats worse, I was right there in the kitchen with about ten or so people. Now listen, in hindsight it’s not so bad because today I actually decided to wear a pair of panties (sorry mom), a thong. Oh my goodness. I’m standing there with my ass out and everyone jumps into action. The dress gets rushed to the emergency room for laundry to see Dr. Tide and the *professional photographer (yes there was a social event going on) grabs his camera to document the hell that just broke loose. The dress is fine and so are the guest , well I’m pretty sure there is one person that is legally blind after seeing my flat bootie at 1 o’clock in the afternoon but hey, that’s what drama does to people. Is there even a moral to this story besides me telling you not to purchase  canned tuna in oil?  Ani lomedit yodat.

What I do know is  that no matter what happens in life be it good, bad or naked, you must just laugh it off and live that truth at that very moment because moments like that make us who we are.


About the Author
Breast cancer warrior with a desire to inspire. Join me on my journey as I explore the Land of Milk and Money (and NO, that is not a typo) as an Olah Chadisha that has been given a new lease on life.
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