Vote for Me!

I have decided to become a Member of Knesset, an MK. I ask all my regular readers to Vote for Me.

I did not take this decision lightly. I have spent many hours researching the rights and benefits of an MK. Before leaping into the unknown, I wanted to know what’s in it for me.

First and foremost, Knesset members currently receive a monthly salary of just under NIS 40,000 ($11,000). This compares quite favourably with the March 2019 all-time record-high average salary for ordinary Israelis of NIS 10,789 per month. It’s a lot better than the NIS 20,000 I could expect as a Senior Software Engineer with a hi-tech company like Intel. And at Intel I would have to keep proving my worth; I might have to work.

Additional rights of Knesset Members, described in the “Knesset Members Immunity, Rights and Duties Law” of 1951 as ‘technical’ in nature, include free telephone and postal services. Well, I am not very good at technical things but I certainly understand free telephone calls.

I would also have parliamentary immunity. This is intended to enable MKs to perform their tasks without worrying about legal action. This ensures that MKs will not have criminal or civil responsibility for anything they do while fulfilling their parliamentary duties. This sounds good, but as I don’t expect to be doing very much, I will probably not need it.

In addition, an MK has immunities relating to searches, detention, criminal hearings and legal proceedings which are not connected with work as a MK. This could be useful, perhaps it covers irritations like speeding tickets or not paying my council tax. Only the Knesset itself can lift immunity in these cases. On occasions there have been proposals to limit Israel’s extremely broad parliamentary immunity but, strangely enough, Mks have always voted against them.

I had a worrying moment while preparing to start my Vote For Me campaign when I came across the requirement for a ‘Platform.’ Was there some minimum height requirement for MKs? Did I need to stand on something? After a brief chat with Google’s Alexa I realised my mistake – I needed to stand for something. This concept was so strange, so unexpected, that I again asked Alexa’s advice.

“A political party platform is a formal set of the party’s goals, designed to appeal to the public, with the purpose of getting the public’s votes.” I was told.

Ah, I said, nodding in understanding, like Vote for Me and get ‘free beer for all the workers.’

To get an idea of what I was up against, I looked at the campaign offerings of my would-be opponents. Alas, after studying web sites and posters, all I could find was Vote For Us.

So, my friends, don’t be fooled by vague promises. Don’t waste your vote on them.

Vote for me!