Watching Oct 7 Documentary ‘Screams Before Silence’ Is Like Stifling a Scream

Photo courtesy of Hadassah.

Photo courtesy of Hadassah.

As I write this, I just returned home from viewing the October 7 hour-long documentary Screams Before Silence at a local Baltimore synagogue.

I was on automatic pilot on my way home, barely thinking about my driving as the images of the film were on replay in my mind. This film will shake you to the core.

In Screams Before Silence, a project started just days after the October 7 massacre in Israel, Sheryl Sandberg interviews survivors, medical personnel, former hostages and others who give witness testimony. At the end, the interviewer herself is interviewed by the director.

I felt pretty well-educated about October 7 and knew what to expect, so I tried to brace myself. But is one ever prepared to view such depravity, inhumanity and horror? There was a “sensitive material” warning before the film began and counselors in the audience were on standby.

The rabbi had told us that we need to lean on each other as an audience and not view a film of this nature alone. (Perhaps that’s why it hasn’t been publicized that you can watch it anytime on YouTube or at screamsbeforesilence.com.) I found the rabbi’s comment ironic since I had been prepared to sit by myself and watch this alone (in an audience of at least 100). But I “lucked out” when I saw my childhood friend and her husband walk in. Sitting next to them, in the front row no less, provided me comfort throughout the film.

As emotional as I usually am, I didn’t shed one tear during the screening. I was in too much of a shock. My extremities went numb listening to descriptions of the bodies that were found and, if not bodies, body parts.

Some actual footage was shown from victims’ cellphones and the Hamas cameras. Images of the actual bodies were blurred out of respect for the deceased and their families. I was grateful for that.

I listened to gasps and groans around me as the film played. Of particular difficulty to hear was the testimony about the sexual violence toward women.

The pain and terror that the Hamas perpetrators inflicted on the women is unconscionable. Apparently, a large part of their “mission” in this massacre was to demean, humiliate and demoralize the women and they did this in the most atrocious and nefarious ways possible. I can’t even write the words to describe their acts. Just imagine the worst possible circumstances of rape and beyond and you get an idea. Some bodies were mutilated before and after death.

I was relieved when the closing credits played so that, perhaps, my limbs would regain movement. I didn’t know if I would be able to walk out of the sanctuary.

I had been looking forward to the panel discussion to follow (which also gave me time to compose myself). I was unaware of the speaker line-up, so I was shocked when a survivor of the Nova Music festival, Natalie Sanandaji, stepped on to the bima (the synagogue platform) to join the rabbi and a Hadassah representative.

It was Natalie’s story that brought tears to my eyes. The rabbi introduced Natalie and gave her biography, which includes a pivot in her career track after October 7 from real estate to the Combat Antisemitism Movement, of which Hadassah is a partner.

Natalie recounted her experience at the music festival—how, against the backdrop of gunshots, she was on the run with a group of other festivalgoers for four hours. When they came across others hiding in a ditch, they opted to keep running instead. Later, they learned that no one in the ditch survived. Her mother called her cell phone, which Natalie carried with her, but Natalie answered only when the sound of gunshots rang silent. Natalie lied, telling her mother that she was at a different music festival and was on her way home. She was not the only one to lie that day to save relatives from panic and extreme distress.

I nodded my head in agreement as Natalie commented about keeping the memories of the deceased alive and the importance of educating others about Judaism and the events of October 7. The rabbi asked her if college students should view the movie and Natalie unabashedly answered in the affirmative, which resonated greatly with me since I am an educator who also has offspring in college.

Hadassah Director of Government Relations, Education and Advocacy Elizabeth Cullen, spoke next, updating us on national and international efforts to hold Hamas accountable for its violence and sex crimes and to raise awareness and strengthen advocacy on behalf of the October 7 victims through Hadassah’s End The Silence campaign (sign the petition here).

Since April, Hadassah members across the country are building on the momentum of the #EndTheSilence campaign by painting a nail yellow to shine the light on the brutal acts committed by Hamas against Israeli women and girls. The idea for painting nails yellow started in Israel with the testimony of a volunteer who prepared the bodies of the October 7 victims for burial.  In a sea of death, the only living color to be seen were the polished fingernails of the young women.

Both speakers struck me as pillars of strength, engaged in the most just of causes. I hope our applause showed our true appreciation for all of their hard work and persistence in keeping these issues in the public eye.

As women, as mothers and as human beings, we must never remain silent.

The Hadassah Writers’ Circle is a dynamic and diverse writing group for leaders and members to express their thoughts and feelings about all the things Hadassah does to make the world a better place, to celebrate their personal Hadassah journeys and to share their Jewish values, family traditions and interpretations of Jewish texts. Since 2019, the Hadassah Writers’ Circle has published nearly 450 columns in the Times of Israel Blogs and other Jewish media outlets. Interested? Please contact hwc@hadassah.org.