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Bazy Swirsky Rubin

We are still on miluim-reserve duty

After a week of holding it all together, I couldn’t wait for him to come from the army and take the next shift. Not that he was going to.
Just a uniform and boots casually telling us he's going to leave again soon
“I’m coming home for Shabbat”
He told me over the phone
amidst total afternoon chaos on a typical Thursday
“Great” I say
And hang up
Trying to listen to three children
All talking to me at the same time
Small hands pull on my shirt
And another child sits on the couch in tears
After holding in his feelings for an entire day in gan.
“Abba is on his way home”
I announce publicly to my living room
They look up
Half acknowledge me
And are back to focusing on their toys.
We’ve gotten used to this
It isn’t “difficult times” we are living through
That would indicate it’s a glitch and that normalcy is just around the corner.
It’s just life, the new normal

But after a week of holding it all together
I couldn’t wait for him to come and take the next shift.
Not that he was going to
He was coming home after an exhausting week in the army
And needed so desperately to crash in a bed that has his name on it.
We aren’t those people
Who keep score and are competing
We try our best to help each other
And step up when the other cannot
We are partners
Each one of us desperately searching their pockets
Maybe we’ve got a bit more energy stashed away somewhere for emergencies
Even though we crossed the finish line
We know there’s an extra sprint there at the end

Surprise!
And that’s the hardest part
Because we are already done
We didn’t save any energy for that last bit
We wanted to
But we couldn’t
“They won’t understand you”
I’m told
By fellow army and reservists’ wives
But I wish people would
I love when my husband comes home
Mid reserve duty
To visit
To recharge
They call it an “After” with an Israeli accent
Does it mean because after he leaves
My kids are a mess again?
My children are so happy for their Abba to be home
But when he’s here as a VIP visitor not a resident
It’s just that
And it’s hard
And it isn’t normal
Nothing about this is normal
I’m a Miluima (the reservists’ wife)
He’s on Miluim (reserve duty).

About the Author
Bazy (pronounces Bah-zee) is the Daughter of Olim from the US. Bazy grew up in Beit Shemesh which they say is just a five minute drive from Israel and is probably part of the reason she speaks English fluently today. Married +4 and completely outnumbered, Bazy is the proud owner of Bazy Productions for video editing, and works at JNF-USA. Her goal in life is to eat lots of chocolate and make sure people laugh a little more every single day.
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